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Jesus said to them: “I have come into this world so that a sentence may fall upon it, that those who are blind should see, and those who see should become blind. If you were blind, you would not be guilty. It is because you protest, ‘We can see clearly,’ that you cannot be rid of your guilt.”

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Views from the Choir Loft

Stephen Colbert: “I’m Not A Fan Of Guitar Masses”

Jeff Ostrowski · May 12, 2015

N A RECENT ARTICLE, I made the case that upbeat Church music which is “catchy” should be performed properly. Stephen Colbert seems to agree:


I’ve never been a Colbert fan—I don’t find him funny. 1 However, I agree with him on this subject. If Church music relies heavily on rhythm and syncopation, it should be performed that way. We have an obligation to perform music properly.

Years ago, Colbert performed an animated LITURGICAL DANCE to a popular hymn—sung in Catholic churches everywhere—and his video went viral. Several people used this opportunity to exclaim, “See how wrong liturgical dance is?”  But they completely missed the point. Colbert didn’t do anything wrong; he was merely responding to a highly syncopated style of music.

I find it interesting that Stephen Colbert—a comedian—realizes that not all musical styles are appropriate for Mass; yet our hierarchy (with a few notable exceptions) won’t come near this issue. Jimmy Fallon—another comedian—recently declared that Mass has become too informal, lacking solemnity:

There’s Frisbees being thrown, there’s beach balls going around, people waving lighters, and I go, “This is too much for me.” I want the old way. I want to hang out with the—you know—with the nuns, you know, that was my favorite type of Mass…and the Grotto and just like—straight up, just—“MASS-MASS.”   (source)

Now I must stop, because I don’t want to repeat myself. We’ve already discussed how most “progressive” liturgists avoid admitting their true position. Their true position is that all musical styles are acceptable for the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass.



NOTES FROM THIS ARTICLE:

1   According to reports, Mr. Colbert teaches Sunday School Catechism classes each week, which is kind of cool.

Opinions by blog authors do not necessarily represent the views of Corpus Christi Watershed.

Filed Under: Articles Tagged With: Stephen Colbert Guitar Masses Last Updated: January 1, 2020

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About Jeff Ostrowski

Jeff Ostrowski holds his B.M. in Music Theory from the University of Kansas (2004). He resides with his wife and children in Michigan. —(Read full biography).

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Corpus Christi Watershed

President’s Corner

    “Music List” • 5th Sunday of Easter (Year C)
    Some have expressed interest in perusing the ORDER OF MUSIC I prepared for the 5th Sunday of Easter (18 May 2025). If such a thing interests you, feel free to download it as a PDF file. The Communion Antiphon was ‘restored’ the 1970 Missale Romanum (a.k.a. MISSALE RECENS) from an obscure martyr’s feast. Our choir is on break this Sunday, so the selections are relatively simple in nature.
    —Jeff Ostrowski
    Communion Chant (5th Sunday of Easter)
    This coming Sunday—18 May 2025—is the 5th Sunday of Easter, Year C (MISSALE RECENS). The COMMUNION ANTIPHON “Ego Sum Vitis Vera” assigned by the Church is rather interesting, because it comes from a rare martyr’s feast: viz. Saint Vitalis of Milan. It was never part of the EDITIO VATICANA, which is the still the Church’s official edition. As a result, the musical notation had to be printed in the Ordo Cantus Missae, which appeared in 1970.
    —Jeff Ostrowski
    “Music List” • 4th Sunday of Easter (Year C)
    Some have expressed interest in perusing the ORDER OF MUSIC I prepared for the 4th Sunday of Easter (11 May 2025). If such a thing interests you, feel free to download it as a PDF file. I don’t know a more gorgeous ENTRANCE CHANT than the one given there: Misericórdia Dómini Plena Est Terra.
    —Jeff Ostrowski

Quick Thoughts

    Antiphons Don’t Match?
    A reader wants to know why the Entrance and Communion antiphons in certain publications deviate from what’s prescribed by the GRADUALE ROMANUM published after Vatican II. Click here to read our answer. The short answer is: the Adalbert Propers were never intended to be sung. They were intended for private Masses only (or Masses without music). The “Graduale Parvum,” published by the John Henry Newman Institute of Liturgical Music in 2023, mostly uses the Adalbert Propers—but sometimes uses the GRADUALE text: e.g. Solemnity of Saints Peter and Paul (29 June).
    —Corpus Christi Watershed
    When to Sit, Stand and Kneel like it’s 1962
    There are lots of different guides to postures for Mass, but I couldn’t find one which matched our local Latin Mass, so I made this one: sit-stand-kneel-crop
    —Veronica Brandt
    The Funeral Rites of the Graduale Romanum
    Lately I have been paging through the 1974 Graduale Romanum (see p. 678 ff.) and have been fascinated by the funeral rites found therein, especially the simply-beautiful Psalmody that is appointed for all the different occasions before and after the funeral Mass: at the vigil/wake, at the house of the deceased, processing to the church, at the church, processing to the cemetery, and at the cemetery. Would that this “stational Psalmody” of the Novus Ordo funeral rites saw wider usage! If you or anyone you know have ever used it, please do let me know.
    —Daniel Tucker

Random Quote

The liturgical reform bears absolutely no relation to what is called “desacralization” and in no way intends to lend support to the phenomenon of “secularizing the world.” Accordingly the rites must retain their dignity, spirit of reverence, and sacred character.

— Sacred Congregation for Divine Worship (5 September 1970)

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