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Pope Saint Paul VI (3 April 1969): “Although the text of the Roman Gradual—at least that which concerns the singing—has not been changed, the Entrance antiphons and Communions antiphons have been revised for Masses without singing.”

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Views from the Choir Loft

Stephen Colbert: “I’m Not A Fan Of Guitar Masses”

Jeff Ostrowski · May 12, 2015

N A RECENT ARTICLE, I made the case that upbeat Church music which is “catchy” should be performed properly. Stephen Colbert seems to agree:


I’ve never been a Colbert fan—I don’t find him funny. 1 However, I agree with him on this subject. If Church music relies heavily on rhythm and syncopation, it should be performed that way. We have an obligation to perform music properly.

Years ago, Colbert performed an animated LITURGICAL DANCE to a popular hymn—sung in Catholic churches everywhere—and his video went viral. Several people used this opportunity to exclaim, “See how wrong liturgical dance is?”  But they completely missed the point. Colbert didn’t do anything wrong; he was merely responding to a highly syncopated style of music.

I find it interesting that Stephen Colbert—a comedian—realizes that not all musical styles are appropriate for Mass; yet our hierarchy (with a few notable exceptions) won’t come near this issue. Jimmy Fallon—another comedian—recently declared that Mass has become too informal, lacking solemnity:

There’s Frisbees being thrown, there’s beach balls going around, people waving lighters, and I go, “This is too much for me.” I want the old way. I want to hang out with the—you know—with the nuns, you know, that was my favorite type of Mass…and the Grotto and just like—straight up, just—“MASS-MASS.”   (source)

Now I must stop, because I don’t want to repeat myself. We’ve already discussed how most “progressive” liturgists avoid admitting their true position. Their true position is that all musical styles are acceptable for the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass.



NOTES FROM THIS ARTICLE:

1   According to reports, Mr. Colbert teaches Sunday School Catechism classes each week, which is kind of cool.

Opinions by blog authors do not necessarily represent the views of Corpus Christi Watershed.

Filed Under: Articles Tagged With: Stephen Colbert Guitar Masses Last Updated: January 1, 2020

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About Jeff Ostrowski

Jeff Ostrowski holds his B.M. in Music Theory from the University of Kansas (2004). He resides with his wife and children in Michigan. —(Read full biography).

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Corpus Christi Watershed

President’s Corner

    “Music List” • 22nd in Ordinary Time (Year C)
    Some have expressed interest in perusing the ORDER OF MUSIC I’ve prepared for 31 August 2025, which is the 22nd Sunday in Ordinary Time (Year C). If such a thing interests you, feel free to download it as a PDF file. As always, the Responsorial Psalm, Gospel Acclamation, and Mass Propers for this Sunday are conveniently stored at the spectacular feasts website alongside the official texts in Latin.
    —Jeff Ostrowski
    “The Worm That Dieth Not”
    My pastor asked me to write a column for our parish bulletin with reflections on the sacred liturgy and church music. In my most recent article, I discuss “The Worm That Dieth Not.” At this website, you can access it conveniently; simply scroll down to the one dated 31 August 2025.
    —Jeff Ostrowski
    A Nice Hymn In Spanish
    In my humble opinion, this is a really beautiful hymn in Spanish. If I practice diligently, I’ll be able to pronounce all the words properly. If you’re someone who’s interested in obtaining a melody only version (suitable for your congregational ORDER OF WORSHIP) you can steal that from this.
    —Jeff Ostrowski

Quick Thoughts

    Solemn “Salve Regina” (Chant)
    How many “S” words can you think of using alliteration? How about Schwann Solemn Salve Score? You can download the SOLEMN SALVE REGINA in Gregorian Chant. The notation follows the official rhythm (EDITIO VATICANA). Canon Jules Van Nuffel, choirmaster of the Cathedral of Saint Rumbold, composed this accompaniment for it (although some feel it isn’t his best work).
    —Corpus Christi Watershed
    Pope Pius XII Hymnal?
    Have you ever heard of the Pope Pius XII Hymnal? It’s a real book, published in the United States in 1959. Here’s a sample page so you can verify with your own eyes it existed.
    —Corpus Christi Watershed
    “Hybrid” Chant Notation?
    Over the years, many have tried to ‘simplify’ plainsong notation. The O’Fallon Propers attempted to simplify the notation—but ended up making matters worse. Dr. Karl Weinmann tried to do the same in the time of Pope Saint Pius X by replacing each porrectus. You can examine a specimen from his edition and see whether you agree he complicated matters. In particular, look at what he did with éxsules fílii Hévae.
    —Corpus Christi Watershed

Random Quote

Yet, with all its advantages, the new Missal was published as if it were a work put together by professors, not a phase in a continual growth process. Such a thing never happened before. It is absolutely contrary to the laws of liturgical growth, and it has resulted in the nonsensical notion that Trent and Pius V had “produced” a Missal four hundred years ago.

— Josef Cardinal Ratzinger (1986)

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