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Views from the Choir Loft

Introvert, Except at Rehearsal? You May Be an Ambivert

Keven Smith · September 7, 2020

EVERAL years ago, I got a call from my old friend Josh. He was passing through Sacramento, so we arranged to meet up for coffee. Back when we both lived in Fresno, I used to help Josh put on all-day seminars that taught people how to discuss—rather than angrily debate—the issue of abortion. Josh spent many hours training me to be one of his teachers and group leaders. (He now runs a fantastic pro-life organization in North Carolina called Equal Rights Institute.)

Josh wanted to hear all about my new job at St. Stephen’s. I told him how happy I was to be working with a large choir program, and how I was applying some of the skills I’d learned with him as I ran rehearsals and taught music classes. We talked about the gifts we’re all given, the ways in which we discover and develop these gifts, and the Parable of the Talents. We also reminisced about the work we had done together.

“Josh,” I finally said, “here’s what I don’t understand. I took all of that material you gave me and taught it in a huge room full of dozens of strangers. And I led breakout groups and coached people and everything. But that’s not me! I’m not a people person—I’m an introvert! How was I able to do that?”

He gave me a knowing smile. “Because you’re not an introvert—you’re an ambivert.”

I responded with a blank look. “What’s that?”

“It’s an introvert who has extrovert skills.”

And so began my journey of self-discovery. If you’re an introverted choir director who wonders how you manage to do your job—or if you’ve ever considered directing but assumed it wouldn’t be a good fit for your personality—I hope this article brings you some clarity.

Breaking Free from the Personality Spectrum

On the traditional personality spectrum, there are two extremes: extrovert and introvert. You’ll often hear people say, “Extroverts are talkative, whereas introverts are shy.” This isn’t entirely accurate. It’s not just external behavior that categorizes people as one or the other; it’s the internal motivation that counts. An extrovert seeks stimulation from external sources. An introvert, on the other hand, focuses more on his internal thoughts and feelings.

Most introverts and extroverts can function socially, in their own ways. But at the end of the evening, the extrovert is more likely to say, “Man, I wish we could have stayed later. The party was just getting going!” The introvert, on the other hand, might say, “That was a really nice evening—but I’m drained! And I need some time to process all those intense one-on-one conversations I had.”

Before Josh called me an ambivert, I had never heard the term. Perhaps you’ve just learned it in this article. All across the web, you’ll see the ambivert described as someone who’s in between the two extremes, who exhibits a combination of traits, or who only enjoys human contact up to a certain point. These descriptions are too broad to be helpful. Aren’t we all “in between”? Even an extreme extrovert may lock himself in his room sometimes, and even an avowed introvert may be highly talkative with her closest friends. These external behaviors don’t change our fundamental preference for either internal or external stimulation.

We don’t need a special term for the many extroverts who thrive at public speaking, or for the introverts who struggle to “go outside themselves” in these situations. But there are introverts who seem to “turn it on” when they need to, tapping into an energy that they can share with even a large group of students or colleagues.

I’m not a psychologist and neither is Josh. But “introvert with extrovert skills” resonates with me. The more I share Josh’s definition with the suspected ambiverts I know, the more I’m convinced he’s right.

What This All Means for Church Musicians

Now, what makes some people ambiverts? Is it because they have one highly extroverted parent and one very introverted parent (as I do)? Can one learn to be an ambivert? I’m not sure. I’m more interested in the implications for how God uses us.

Each of us is getting all the grace we need to work successfully as church musicians (or, for that matter, to defend the unborn). All we have to do is cooperate with it. The extent to which we stand in the way of that grace will be the extent to which we struggle.

One of the insidious ways in which we can block grace is by saying, “But I’m an introvert, so I can’t do X.” We all have God-given strengths and weaknesses. Let’s not forget to glory in the weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can dwell in us (2 Cor 12:9). In other words, sometimes we have to get out of the way so that we can let God surprise us with His generosity in giving us what we need to do our jobs.

Even if you’re an introvert, you may find yourself spontaneously coming up with the right words to explain a difficult concept at rehearsal. Or inventing a fun exercise to shake up a music class. Or explaining your teaching style to a new parishioner you just met in the parking lot. None of us deserves these unexpected gifts. Take them as they come, and never fail to give thanks.

Also, don’t be concerned about your apparent split personality—or get frustrated when your choir persona doesn’t carry over into the rest of your life. Your work brings out a different side of you and makes different graces available to you. That doesn’t make you weird; it just makes you an ambivert.

Opinions by blog authors do not necessarily represent the views of Corpus Christi Watershed.

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Filed Under: Articles, Featured Tagged With: personality Last Updated: November 24, 2020

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About Keven Smith

Keven Smith, music director at St. Stephen the First Martyr, lives in Sacramento with his wife and five musical children.—(Read full biography).

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Quick Thoughts

    Introit • Candlemas (2 February)
    “Candlemas” • Our choir sang on February 2nd, and here's a live recording of the beautiful INTROIT: Suscépimus Deus. We had very little time to rehearse, but I think it has some very nice moments. I promise that by the 8th Sunday after Pentecost it will be perfect! (That Introit is repeated on the 8th Sunday after Pentecost.) We still need to improve, but we're definitely on the right track!
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    Simplified Antiphons • “Candlemas”
    Anyone who desires simplified antiphons (“psalm tone versions”) for 2 February, the Feast of the Purification—which is also known as “Candlemas” or the Feast of the Presentation—may freely download them. The texts of the antiphons are quite beautiful. From “Lumen Ad Revelatiónem Géntium” you can hear a live excerpt (Mp3).
    —Jeff Ostrowski
    Tempo?? • 𝘏𝘰𝘭𝘺 𝘎𝘰𝘥, 𝘞𝘦 𝘗𝘳𝘢𝘪𝘴𝘦 𝘛𝘩𝘺 𝘕𝘢𝘮𝘦
    Once, after Mass, my pastor said he really loved the hymn we did. I said: “Father, that's Holy God, We Praise Thy Name—you never heard it before?” He replied: “But the way you did it was terrific. For once, it didn't sound like a funeral dirge!” Last Sunday, our volunteer choir sang that hymn. I think the tempo was just about right … but what do you think?
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“Those who teach Latin must know how to speak to the hearts of the young, know how to treasure the very rich heritage of the Latin tradition to educate them in the path of life, and accompany them along paths rich in hope and confidence.”

— Pope Francis (7 December 2017)

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