Views from the Choir Loft

Stephen Colbert: “I’m Not A Fan Of Guitar Masses”

Jeff Ostrowski · May 12, 2015 ·

N A RECENT ARTICLE, I made the case that upbeat Church music which is “catchy” should be performed properly. Stephen Colbert seems to agree:

I’ve never been a Colbert fan—I don’t find him funny. ¹ However, I agree with him on this subject. If Church music relies heavily on rhythm and syncopation, it should be performed that way. We have an obligation to perform music properly.

Years ago, Colbert performed an animated LITURGICAL DANCE to a popular hymn—sung in Catholic churches everywhere—and his video went viral. Several people used this opportunity to exclaim, “See how wrong liturgical dance is?” But they completely missed the point. Colbert didn’t do anything wrong; he was merely responding to a highly syncopated style of music.

I find it interesting that Stephen Colbert—a comedian—realizes that not all musical styles are appropriate for Mass; yet our hierarchy (with a few notable exceptions) won’t come near this issue. Jimmy Fallon—another comedian—recently declared that Mass has become too informal, lacking solemnity:

There’s Frisbees being thrown, there’s beach balls going around, people waving lighters, and I go, “This is too much for me.” I want the old way. I want to hang out with the—you know—with the nuns, you know, that was my favorite type of Mass…and the Grotto and just like—straight up, just—“MASS-MASS.” (source)

Now I must stop, because I don’t want to repeat myself. We’ve already discussed how most “progressive” liturgists avoid admitting their true position. Their true position is that all musical styles are acceptable for the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass.

NOTES FROM THIS ARTICLE:

1 According to reports, Mr. Colbert teaches Sunday School Catechism classes each week, which is kind of cool.

About Jeff Ostrowski

A theorist, organist, and conductor, Jeff Ostrowski holds his B.M. in Music Theory from the University of Kansas (2004), and did graduate work in Musicology. He serves as choirmaster for the new FSSP parish in Los Angeles, where he resides with his wife and children.

Could Pope St. Pius X Sing?

“On 12 March 1908, the complete publication of the Roman Gradual was issued by the Vatican Press. On that very day, Dom Pothier solemnly presented the first copy to the Holy Father. A witness of the audience says that Pius X wished to be the first to see the new book; he opened it at random, at page 128 of the supplement pro aliquibus locis—it was the Introit of the new Feast of Our Lady of Lourdes. The Pope sang it with perfect taste to the last note.” (Catholic Choirmaster, February 1915)

—Jeff Ostrowski

Julius Bas Accompaniment

A very prolific harmonizer of Gregorian chant in the early 20th century was Mr. Julius Bas. He often uses a very strange technique, wherein he employs rests to eliminate the Alto, Tenor, and Bass voices. Consider what he did with “Lumen ad revelationem” here:

* JPEG • Lumen ad revelationem

It seems quite lazy, and I’ve never seen anyone else use such a technique, although Dr. Peter Wagner often switched to parallel octaves when he ran out of ideas… (Yuck!)

—Jeff Ostrowski

Hitting wrong notes

Fr. Valentine Young, OFM, used to say: “The organist can play 1,000 correct notes and one wrong note—and the only thing people will care about is the wrong note.” Last Sunday I hit some wrong notes, and felt bad. Then I remembered a story about Rudolf Serkin and started to chuckle. Charles Rosen (or was it Leon Fleisher?) told the story of Serkin playing a Beethoven Sonata in front of a large audience. The theme is all in octaves; but Serkin hit some wrong notes, and played parallel 7ths instead. This so unnerved him that every time the theme returned, he played the entire thing in parallel 7ths! We must remember that even the greatest hit wrong notes. Alfred Cortot, Vladimir Horowitz, Wilhelm Backhaus, Edwin Fischer, Sviatoslav Richter, Egon Petri—they all hit wrong notes, which we can hear on recordings. (Josef Hofmann was an exception, but he was super-human so he doesn’t count!)

—Jeff Ostrowski