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Views from the Choir Loft

Family and Work: both are full time jobs

Dr. Alfred Calabrese · October 8, 2015

224 JMO Joseph Laren AM VERY GRATEFUL to be one of the newest bloggers here at ccwatershed. I’ve been frequenting this website and taking advantage of its multiple resources for many years. I’ve enjoyed reading the articles submitted by the bloggers that have come before me, and I’ve learned a lot. (If one were to look hard enough, he might even find a psalm setting or two of mine over at the Chabanel Psalms side of things). One of the things I’ve figured out is that I’m probably the oldest member of the blogging “team.” Some of my colleagues here have written beautiful, funny, and interesting stories about juggling a young family and their work in the Church. I have a different perspective. My children are now grown, and since they are old enough to read, I’m not about to reveal any family secrets. What I can say to anyone who is feeling any sort of pressure, or questioning how they can continue to give 100% to work and 100% to the family, is that it all works out in the end. Having a supportive and understanding spouse is crucial. It also helps when she’s a really fine musician as well, which mine is. Praying to St. Joseph is another way I can cope when things get tough. We certainly have had our struggles, still do some days, and will more than likely have more. It doesn’t change, it’s just different. However, I can share some of the little and large joys one can look forward to with grown children. Disclaimer – not all of these happen all the time, or all at the same time!

They go to church.
They talk to me about important things.
They do good works.
They have compassion.
They make decisions based on a moral compass.
They think a lot about Jesus.
They’re better than I am.

The American dream (a great dream, by the way) says that I should leave my children better off than I am. I also want my children to be better than I am so that they’ll get to heaven. I’m pretty sure they are.

Society tends to see things as either one way or the other. An example of this is how our children end up. Children who are successful, happy, do well in school, and get great jobs, must have great parents. Some kids dress funny, drive their parents crazy, float around aimlessly, and do some stupid things. They must have bad parents. It’s just not that simple. Working in the Church, and especially leading choirs, brings us into contact with a hugely diverse group of people. The job requires us to be aware of their joys and sorrows, do a lot of listening and sometimes a little counseling. In most cases, we will never know their whole ‘story.’ But as leaders, we learn a lot about them, including what’s going on in their families. I know parents who are really struggling in their relationships with their teenage and grown children. When these parents stick with their kids no matter what, it doesn’t make them bad parents, it makes them saints. I really respect these people. Let’s pray for all parents. St. Joseph, ora pro nobis.

Opinions by blog authors do not necessarily represent the views of Corpus Christi Watershed.

Filed Under: Articles Last Updated: January 1, 2020

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About Dr. Alfred Calabrese

Dr. Alfred Calabrese is Director of Music and Liturgy at St. Rita Catholic Church in Dallas, TX. He and his wife have two children.—(Read full biography).

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Corpus Christi Watershed

Quick Thoughts

    PDF • “For the Season of Pentecost”
    During the season of Pentecost, you might consider using this 2-page Piece “for the season of Pentecost.” Rehearsal videos are available at #40691, but the lyrics are different. Therefore, make sure your choir members understand that one can rehearse songs that have different lyrics (“CONTRAFACT”).
    —Jeff Ostrowski
    Introit • (This Coming Sunday)
    Our volunteer choir appreciates training videos, so here's my attempt at recording “Exáudi Dómine Vocem Meam,” which is the INTROIT for this coming Sunday. This coming Sunday is Dominica Post Ascensionem (“Sunday after the feast of the Ascension”). It is sung according to the official rhythm of the Catholic Church.
    —Jeff Ostrowski
    Volunteer Choir Attempts “Kýrie Eléison”
    My volunteer choir attempted the polyphonic KYRIE that will be sung at this year's Sacred Music Symposium. If you're interested, you can listen to the live recording from last Sunday. The piece is based on the ancient plainchant hymn melody: Ave Maris Stella. Polyphony like this is truly intricate and wonderful. It reminds me of the quote by Artur Schnabel: “music that's greater than it can be performed.”
    —Jeff Ostrowski

Random Quote

“At the hour for the Divine Office, | as soon as the signal is heard, | let them abandon whatever they may have in hand | and hasten with the greatest speed, | yet with seriousness, so that there is no excuse for levity. | Let nothing be preferred to the sacred liturgy.”

— Rule of St. Benedict (Chapter 43)

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