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Views from the Choir Loft

Family and Work: both are full time jobs

Dr. Alfred Calabrese · October 8, 2015

224 JMO Joseph Laren AM VERY GRATEFUL to be one of the newest bloggers here at ccwatershed. I’ve been frequenting this website and taking advantage of its multiple resources for many years. I’ve enjoyed reading the articles submitted by the bloggers that have come before me, and I’ve learned a lot. (If one were to look hard enough, he might even find a psalm setting or two of mine over at the Chabanel Psalms side of things). One of the things I’ve figured out is that I’m probably the oldest member of the blogging “team.” Some of my colleagues here have written beautiful, funny, and interesting stories about juggling a young family and their work in the Church. I have a different perspective. My children are now grown, and since they are old enough to read, I’m not about to reveal any family secrets. What I can say to anyone who is feeling any sort of pressure, or questioning how they can continue to give 100% to work and 100% to the family, is that it all works out in the end. Having a supportive and understanding spouse is crucial. It also helps when she’s a really fine musician as well, which mine is. Praying to St. Joseph is another way I can cope when things get tough. We certainly have had our struggles, still do some days, and will more than likely have more. It doesn’t change, it’s just different. However, I can share some of the little and large joys one can look forward to with grown children. Disclaimer – not all of these happen all the time, or all at the same time!

They go to church.
They talk to me about important things.
They do good works.
They have compassion.
They make decisions based on a moral compass.
They think a lot about Jesus.
They’re better than I am.

The American dream (a great dream, by the way) says that I should leave my children better off than I am. I also want my children to be better than I am so that they’ll get to heaven. I’m pretty sure they are.

Society tends to see things as either one way or the other. An example of this is how our children end up. Children who are successful, happy, do well in school, and get great jobs, must have great parents. Some kids dress funny, drive their parents crazy, float around aimlessly, and do some stupid things. They must have bad parents. It’s just not that simple. Working in the Church, and especially leading choirs, brings us into contact with a hugely diverse group of people. The job requires us to be aware of their joys and sorrows, do a lot of listening and sometimes a little counseling. In most cases, we will never know their whole ‘story.’ But as leaders, we learn a lot about them, including what’s going on in their families. I know parents who are really struggling in their relationships with their teenage and grown children. When these parents stick with their kids no matter what, it doesn’t make them bad parents, it makes them saints. I really respect these people. Let’s pray for all parents. St. Joseph, ora pro nobis.

Opinions by blog authors do not necessarily represent the views of Corpus Christi Watershed.

Filed Under: Articles Last Updated: January 1, 2020

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About Dr. Alfred Calabrese

Dr. Alfred Calabrese is Director of Music and Liturgy at St. Rita Catholic Church in Dallas, TX. He and his wife have two children.—(Read full biography).

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Corpus Christi Watershed

President’s Corner

    Bugnini’s Statement (6 November 1966)
    With each passing day, more is revealed about how the enemies of the liturgy accomplished their goals. For instance, Hannibal Bugnini deeply resented the way Vatican II said Gregorian Chant “must be given first place in liturgical services.” On 6 November 1966, his cadre wrote a letter attempting to justify the elimination of Gregorian Chant with this brazen statement: “What really gives a Mass its tone is not so much the songs as it is the prayers and readings.” Bugnini’s cadre then attacked the very heart of Gregorian Chant (viz. the Proprium Missae), bemoaning how the Proprium Missae “is completely new each Sunday and feast day.” There is much more to be said about this topic. Stay tuned.
    —Jeff Ostrowski
    Luis Martínez Must Go!
    Sevilla Cathedral (entry dated 13 December 1564): The chapter orders Luis Martínez, a cathedral chaplain, to stay away from the choirbook-stand when the rest of the singers gather around it to sing polyphony—the reason being that “he throws the others out of tune.” [Excerpt from “The Life of Father Francisco Guerrero.”]
    —Jeff Ostrowski
    Urgent! • We Desperately Need Funds!
    A few days ago, the president of Corpus Christi Watershed posted this urgent appeal for funds. Please help us make sure we’re never forced to place our content behind a paywall. We feel it’s crucial that 100% of our content remains free to everyone. We’re a tiny 501(c)3 public charity, entirely dependent upon the generosity of small donors. We have no endowment and no major donors. We run no advertisements and have no savings. We beg you to consider donating $4.00 per month. Thank you!
    —Jeff Ostrowski

Quick Thoughts

    Pope Pius XII Hymnal?
    Have you ever heard of the Pope Pius XII Hymnal? It’s a real book, published in the United States in 1959. Here’s a sample page so you can verify with your own eyes it existed.
    —Corpus Christi Watershed
    “Hybrid” Chant Notation?
    Over the years, many have tried to ‘simplify’ plainsong notation. The O’Fallon Propers attempted to simplify the notation—but ended up making matters worse. Dr. Karl Weinmann tried to do the same in the time of Pope Saint Pius X by replacing each porrectus. You can examine a specimen from his edition and see whether you agree he complicated matters. In particular, look at what he did with éxsules fílii Hévae.
    —Corpus Christi Watershed
    Antiphons Don’t Match?
    A reader wants to know why the Entrance and Communion antiphons in certain publications deviate from what’s prescribed by the GRADUALE ROMANUM published after Vatican II. Click here to read our answer. The short answer is: the Adalbert Propers were never intended to be sung. They were intended for private Masses only (or Masses without music). The “Graduale Parvum,” published by the John Henry Newman Institute of Liturgical Music in 2023, mostly uses the Adalbert Propers—but sometimes uses the GRADUALE text: e.g. Solemnity of Saints Peter and Paul (29 June).
    —Corpus Christi Watershed

Random Quote

“The chapter orders that any cathedral singer or instrumentalist who uses a paid leave of absence to try out for a post elsewhere shall automatically forfeit his post at Seville Cathedral.” [From “The Life of Father Francisco Guerrero.”]

— Sevilla Cathedral: Chapter Resolution (7 September 1565)

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