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Pope Saint Paul VI (3 April 1969): “Although the text of the Roman Gradual—at least that which concerns the singing—has not been changed, the Entrance antiphons and Communions antiphons have been revised for Masses without singing.”

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Views from the Choir Loft

Wakes in Church & Funerals at the Parlor

Fr. David Friel · November 2, 2014

N MANY QUARTERS, those involved in parish life and pastoral care have been experiencing a definite trend. I won’t call the trend “alarming,” but “unfortunate” and “ill-conceived” would be good descriptors. The trend concerns the location of funerals.

In the “old days,” when a member of a Catholic family died, a wake might have been held in the family home—a sort of open house. The purpose of this event was to gather as a family to mourn, tell stories, and say a few prayers together to aid in the process of corporate grief. Eventually, the age of funeral parlors arose, and these homes then became the place for wakes. A day or more after the wake, there would be a funeral Mass in the local parish church. The purpose of this event was to pray for the happy repose of the deceased, to apply the merits of Christ’s Passion to the soul of the deceased, and to pray for healing & peace among the surviving family, friends, & neighbors.

Nowadays, priests & deacons & members of bereavement committees are faced with an entirely different situation. In fact, the situation is often the reverse of what makes sense.

More and more, families are requesting that funeral prayers be offered at the funeral parlor; meanwhile, other families desire to hold the wake in church. Judging from this state of affairs, we seem to have forgotten the purpose of church buildings and funeral parlors. The trouble with funerals at funeral parlors is that they omit the Mass; the trouble with wakes in church is that they reduce a sacred space to a gathering space, often leading to noise & activity unbecoming of the Lord’s house. These mismatched locations are neither appropriate nor conducive. (I have heard of some priests trying to reclaim the sacredness of the church space by offering confessions when they have a wake in church; this strikes me as an interesting idea, though not a thorough solution.)

The structure of the Order of Christian Funerals ritual book can teach us a few lessons. For example, the first part of the funeral liturgy is the Vigil (the prayers to be prayed during the wake), which is followed by the “Transfer of the Body to the Church.” That there should be a transfer to the church is a clear sign that the ritual does not envision a viewing in the church building.

In the Order of Christian Funerals, one also finds an option provided for what is called a “Funeral Liturgy outside Mass.” This form of the funeral service is clearly not preferable, inasmuch as it omits the sacrifice of Holy Mass, which is the most essential element of the “fraternal offices of burial.” The introduction to this section of the ritual book (#178) suggests very limited occasions for its use:

1. When the funeral Mass is not permitted, namely, on solemnities of obligation, on Holy Thursday and the Easter Triduum, and on the Sundays of Advent, Lent, and the Easter Season;
2. When in some places or circumstances it is not possible to celebrate the funeral Mass before the committal, for example, if a priest is not available;
3. When for pastoral reasons the pastor and the family judge that the funeral liturgy outside Mass is a more suitable form of celebration.

Even narrower is the language of the following paragraph (#179), which states: “The funeral liturgy outside Mass is ordinarily celebrated in the parish church, but may also be celebrated in the home of the deceased, a funeral home, parlor, chapel of rest, or cemetery chapel.” I have never seen the funeral liturgy outside Mass celebrated in a church, and I would guess that this seldom actually occurs. Without a doubt, this rubric clearly underscores the fundamental significance of the location of the funeral rites.

The reasons I commonly hear families give for requesting a priest to offer the service at the funeral home are very different. Among them are these:

1. The deceased never went to church anyway.
2. Using the church costs too much.
3. It would be easier for [name-an-infirm-relative] to have it all in one day at one location.

Certainly, families sometimes have other reasons, too, but these are the most common explanations I hear for why a family is requesting a funeral service at the parlor. Obviously there is a marked disconnect between the reasons proffered by families and the parameters established by the ritual.

Much of the trouble stems from people having lost a basic understanding of what a funeral is. A Catholic funeral is not a “life celebration.” Despite what many funeral homes try to market, a Catholic funeral is not a celebration of the deceased person’s human life. You often hear it said, “A funeral is for the family, not for the deceased.” In the Catholic framework, however, this is simply not true. A Catholic funeral is very much for the deceased, and only secondarily for the comfort of those who are left behind.

In the minds of many people, the essential component of a funeral is the eulogy. This is an issue we have addressed elsewhere. Whereas words of remembrance often are the essential element of Protestant funerals, this is never the case with the funeral of a Catholic. The essential element of a Catholic funeral is always and everywhere the efficacious sacrifice of Christ as re-presented in the Mass. It is, therefore, a matter of justice to arrange a funeral Mass for one who is deceased.

Restoring funerals & wakes to their proper locations will only be achieved at the grassroots level. Parishes need to help families making funeral arrangements to understand the background of these matters. Priests need to teach their parishioners and parents need to teach their children that location matters.

As my mother often told me, there is an appropriate time—and place—for everything.

Opinions by blog authors do not necessarily represent the views of Corpus Christi Watershed.

Filed Under: Articles Tagged With: Requiem Last Updated: January 1, 2020

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About Fr. David Friel

Ordained in 2011, Father Friel is a priest of the Archdiocese of Philadelphia and serves as Director of Liturgy at Saint Charles Borromeo Seminary. —(Read full biography).

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Corpus Christi Watershed

President’s Corner

    A Nice Hymn In Spanish
    In my humble opinion, this is a really beautiful hymn in Spanish. If I practice diligently, I’ll be able to pronounce all the words properly. If you’re someone who’s interested in obtaining a melody only version (suitable for your congregational ORDER OF WORSHIP) you can steal that from this.
    —Jeff Ostrowski
    “Music List” • 21st in Ordinary Time (Year C)
    Our choir returns on Sunday, 24 August 2025. Some have expressed interest in perusing the ORDER OF MUSIC I’ve prepared for it, which is the 21st Sunday in Ordinary Time (Year C). If such a thing interests you, feel free to download it as a PDF file. As always, the Responsorial Psalm, Gospel Acclamation, and Mass Propers for this Sunday are conveniently stored at the spectacular feasts website. When it comes to the feast of the Assumption (15 August 2025), I have uploaded the music list for that Mass—but not the “bi-lingual” Mass in the evening (Spanish, Latin, and English) which has completely different music.
    —Jeff Ostrowski
    “Entrance Chant” • 21st Sunday Ordin. Time
    You can download the ENTRANCE ANTIPHON in English for the 21st Sunday in Ordinary Time (Year C) which is coming up on 24 August 2025. Corresponding to the vocalist score is this free organ accompaniment. It’s set in a melancholy mode, but if you heard my choir’s female voices singing it your soul would be uplifted beyond belief. If you’re someone who enjoys rehearsal videos, this morning I tried to sing it while simultaneously accompanying my voice on the pipe organ.
    —Jeff Ostrowski

Quick Thoughts

    Solemn “Salve Regina” (Chant)
    How many “S” words can you think of using alliteration? How about Schwann Solemn Salve Score? You can download the SOLEMN SALVE REGINA in Gregorian Chant. The notation follows the official rhythm (EDITIO VATICANA). Canon Jules Van Nuffel, choirmaster of the Cathedral of Saint Rumbold, composed this accompaniment for it (although some feel it isn’t his best work).
    —Corpus Christi Watershed
    Pope Pius XII Hymnal?
    Have you ever heard of the Pope Pius XII Hymnal? It’s a real book, published in the United States in 1959. Here’s a sample page so you can verify with your own eyes it existed.
    —Corpus Christi Watershed
    “Hybrid” Chant Notation?
    Over the years, many have tried to ‘simplify’ plainsong notation. The O’Fallon Propers attempted to simplify the notation—but ended up making matters worse. Dr. Karl Weinmann tried to do the same in the time of Pope Saint Pius X by replacing each porrectus. You can examine a specimen from his edition and see whether you agree he complicated matters. In particular, look at what he did with éxsules fílii Hévae.
    —Corpus Christi Watershed

Random Quote

“What really matters in life is that we are loved by Christ and that we love Him in return. In comparison to the love of Jesus, everything else is secondary. And, without the love of Jesus, everything is useless.”

— Pope John Paul II (1979)

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