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Pope Saint Paul VI (3 April 1969): “Although the text of the Roman Gradual—at least that which concerns the singing—has not been changed, the Entrance antiphons and Communions antiphons have been revised for Masses without singing.”

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Views from the Choir Loft

Weddings: Some Practical Advice – Word and Vows

Andrew R. Motyka · October 1, 2014

HEW. It took a long time to get to this post; nearly as long as wedding processions seem when you are playing the organ through 11 bridesmaids.

The Liturgy of the Word in the Nuptial Mass is fairly straightforward. Any of the readings from that ritual Mass section of the Lectionary may be used in their respective places. One point I would ask you to pay attention to, and I can’t believe I even have to say this, is that you should be sure that your chosen readers can actually read. Seriously. Often, this is the role that people are asked to perform when they aren’t quite best-friendy or close-family enough with the bride or groom to become one of the eleventy-six bridesmaids or groomsmen, so they are asked to read instead. Make sure whomever you ask has experience reading at Mass, and that they practice doing so before the Mass. Otherwise, you will end up with the reader who double-clutches during Ephesians 5, or breaks out into giggles during sexy, sexy Tobit.

After the homily, the meat of the wedding ritual comes in. The vows are the sacramental form of Matrimony, so careful attention should be given to this part. While it is not required, I strongly recommend brides and grooms memorizing their vows. This is a solemn promise that you are making for the rest of your life. If you can’t remember what it is, what are you doing? It’s three sentences:

I, Y, take you, X, to be my wife. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life.

(I did that off the top of my head, by the way. 8 years married BOOM.)

There is an option for a different set of vows in the United States, as well.

There is nothing wrong with being assisted by the priest or deacon if you stumble. I think it should be relatively easy to do this from memory, however. The blessing and exchange of rings is even easier:

Y, take this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity, in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.

That’s it. Those are literally the only lines you have in this part of the rite.

Which brings us to the “Unity Candle.” While this practice has been allowed in many Catholic weddings in recent history, it is not a part of the Catholic Wedding at all. Before you go hog wild in unifying that candle, ask yourself this question: What is this a symbol of?

Is it a symbol of the unity of your families brought about by marriage? That’s not what marriage is. It is a unifying of two individuals.

Is it a symbol of the sacramental promise between the bride and groom? You just exchanged rings for that.

Is it a symbol of the physical unity of the spouses, that “two become one flesh?” You have sex for that. It’s a million times better than lighting a candle.

The Unity Candle isn’t just not a part of the Catholic Wedding; it’s either a false statement, or it’s redundant, or it’s trite. Of course, this might be one of those hills, depending on your parish and liturgical history.

Couples getting married should familiarize themselves with this part of the liturgical celebration more than any other. This is, after all, their part of the liturgy. The bride and the groom are the ministers of the sacrament, and deficiencies due to laziness or lack of preparation are not acceptable. This is the moment you’ve been waiting for. Do it well.


Series by Andrew R. Motyka:   “Weddings: Some Practical Advice”

FIRST PART • Introduction

SECOND PART • The Very Beginning, Part 1

THIRD PART • The End Of The Beginning, Part 2

FOURTH PART • Word and Vows

Stay tuned for more additions!

Opinions by blog authors do not necessarily represent the views of Corpus Christi Watershed.

Filed Under: Articles Last Updated: January 1, 2020

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About Andrew R. Motyka

Andrew Motyka is the Archdiocesan Director of Liturgical Music and Cathedral Music for the Archdiocese of Indianapolis.—(Read full biography).

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Corpus Christi Watershed

President’s Corner

    PDF • “Lectionary Comparison Chart”
    Various shell corporations (in an effort to make money selling Sacred Scripture) have tinkered with the LECTIONARY texts in a way that’s shameful. It’s no wonder Catholics in the pews know so few Bible passages by heart. Without authorization, these shell corporations pervert the official texts. Consider the Responsorial Psalm for the 1st Sunday of Advent (Year A). If you download this PDF comparison chart you’ll notice each country randomly omits certain sections. Such tinkering has gone on for 60+ years—and it’s reprehensible.
    —Corpus Christi Watershed
    “Music List” • 29th in Ordinary Time (Year C)
    Readers have expressed interest in perusing the ORDER OF MUSIC I’ve prepared for 19 October 2025, which is the 29th Sunday in Ordinary Time (Year C). If such a thing interests you, feel free to download it as a PDF file. As always, the Responsorial Psalm, Gospel Acclamation, and Mass Propers for this Sunday are conveniently stored at the sensational feasts website alongside the official texts in Latin.
    —Jeff Ostrowski
    Liturgical Round (“Canon”) in C-Major
    Those who direct children’s choirs are always on the lookout for repertoire that’s dignified, inspired, and pleasing—yet still within reach of young choristers. Such directors will want to investigate this haunting liturgical round (PDF download) which has been married to the KYRIE from Mass VI (EDITIO VATICANA). I have provided an accompaniment, but it’s only for use during rehearsal; i.e. when teaching this round to your choristers. I also provided an organ accompaniment for the KYRIE—which some know by its trope (Kyrie Rex Genitor)—so that your congregation can take part when this round is used as a choral extension during Mass.
    —Jeff Ostrowski

Quick Thoughts

    New Bulletin Article • “12 October 2025”
    My pastor requested that I write short articles each week for our parish bulletin. Those responsible for preparing similar write-ups may find a bit of inspiration in these brief columns. The latest article (dated 12 October 2025) talks about an ‘irony’ or ‘paradox’ regarding the 1960s switch to a wider use (amplior locus) of vernacular in the liturgy.
    —Jeff Ostrowski
    “American Catholic Hymnal” (1991)
    The American Catholic Hymnal, with IMPRIMATUR granted (25 April 1991) by the Archdiocese of Chicago, is like a compendium of every horrible idea from the 1980s. Imagine being forced to stand all through Communion (even afterwards) when those self-same ‘enlightened’ liturgists moved the SEQUENCE before the Alleluia to make sure congregations wouldn’t have to stand during it. (Even worse, everything about the SEQUENCE—including its name—means it should follow the Alleluia.) And imagine endlessly repeating “Alleluia” during Holy Communion at every single Mass. It was all part of an effort to convince people that Holy Communion was historically a procession (which it wasn’t).
    —Jeff Ostrowski
    “Canonic” • Ralph Vaughan Williams
    Fifty years ago, Dr. Theodore Marier made available this clever arrangement (PDF) of “Come down, O love divine” by P. R. Dietterich. The melody was composed in 1906 by Ralph Vaughan Williams (d. 1958) and named in honor of his birthplace: DOWN AMPNEY. The arrangement isn’t a strict canon, but it does remind one of a canon since the pipe organ employs “points of imitation.” The melody and text are #709 in the Brébeuf Catholic Hymnal.
    —Jeff Ostrowski

Random Quote

When the matter is thus regarded, an assertion which is being made today, not only by laymen but also at times by certain theologians and priests and spread about by them, ought to be rejected as an erroneous opinion: namely, that the offering of one Mass, at which a hundred priests assist with religious devotion, is the same as a hundred Masses celebrated by a hundred priests. That is not true.

— Pope Pius XII (2 November 1954)

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