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Views from the Choir Loft

Working With People With Whom One Disagrees

Richard J. Clark · May 6, 2016

ORKING WITH people with whom one disagrees is not only common, it is the natural state of the world. So don’t freak out. You’ve probably been doing it already with some success. Or not.

In the real world—and in the real job market—it is rare to find oneself entirely in agreement with every coworker and superior. (I am not addressing matters of dogma or Truths of our Faith. Those are beyond discussion.) One must deal with disagreement to survive, and ultimately thrive. Different roles by necessity require dissimilar perspectives. As a result, this produces conflicting and sometimes competing priorities. E.g., A musician will likely consider keeping the organ in tune a greater budgetary priority than the Building Manager will. Or the pastor has to worry about fundraising and building maintenance, as well as the salvation of souls. With the weight of a parish on his shoulders, he might not be thinking at this moment about the most amazing organ postlude ever.

This is not to make light of anyone’s jobs. We are all called to serve, and there’s good reason we are laser-focused on our areas of expertise. “For just as the body is one and has many members, and all the members of the body, though many, are one body, so it is with Christ.” 1 Corinthians 12:12

NTERESTINGLY, ONE’S ABILITY to work effectively with someone else does not rely very much at all on how much one agrees with that other person. In thirty years of experience in the Church, I have found that I can work quite well with people with whom I disagree, and I cannot work with some people with whom I have a great deal in common, such as our philosophy or taste in music, etc. Why is this?

There are a few factors, but I have found that it comes down to three things:

1 • Mutual respect especially for each other’s professional (or volunteer) roles. While ultimately respect is earned, to give respect should be the default and automatic approach in a new working relationship. In fact, this is a beautiful way to live life.

2 • There is a willingness to serve the greater good, a shared motivation.

3 • Each person does not take personal offense of a disagreement. This is challenging, but key. To do so is a common mistake and sometimes leads to rather juvenile behavior. It’s hard to do when we are passionate. Just don’t do it. You’ll thank yourself later! Be open that you might learn something—even if from an underling—and as a result get better at your job.

There are also helpful benefits when working out disagreements. Many who have worked with me or under my direction do not prefer or agree with all my decisions. Their willingness has produced this very interesting side effect: my respect for them increases exponentially because I know they are not thrilled with what I’ve asked. Perhaps they offered a rebuttal, but worked with me cheerfully. Then another thing happens. They have greater influence, and our work becomes increasingly collaborative. Then, maybe I can learn something from them if I’m smart enough to listen.

Likewise, those who overstep professional boundaries do themselves no favors. Not because of recrimination, but simply because of its lack of mutuality. This produces ill-will among negative side-effects. Don’t do this either. Your colleagues will thank you for deferring to their area of expertise.

HEN THERE IS ANOTHER another fascinating development. There are people with whom one may agree with on a number of matters, but one cannot work with easily. Why? With some, the slightest disagreement causes strife. Concur on 97% of all matters, but there’s still a problem? This is because one or both parties fixate on the disputed 3%. This is sadly wasteful.

To survive in serving the Church and to survive a tough job market, one must consider carefully these elements, but especially this: Remember, that being “in-synch” with someone actually is a result of mutual work and effort. It doesn’t happen automatically, and no one is entitled to it. If people work well together, it’s because they worked very hard to that end.

Also one must have the humility to understand that disagreements often yield a greater good, sometimes unseen by the individuals in conflict. Wisely step back and observe this if you can. When colleagues work hard towards the greater good and establish trust, don’t take such working relationships for granted. It’s pretty amazing.

Opinions by blog authors do not necessarily represent the views of Corpus Christi Watershed.

Filed Under: Articles Last Updated: January 1, 2020

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Richard J. Clark

About Richard J. Clark

Richard J. Clark is the Director of Music of the Archdiocese of Boston and the Cathedral of the Holy Cross.—(Read full biography).

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Surprising Popularity!

One of our most popular downloads has proven to be the organ accompaniment to “The Monastery Hymnal” (131 pages). This book was compiled, arranged, and edited by Achille P. Bragers, who studied at the Lemmensinstituut (Belgium) about thirty years before that school produced the NOH. Bragers might be considered an example of Belgium “Stile Antico” whereas Flor Peeters and Jules Van Nuffel represented Belgium “Prima Pratica.” You can download the hymnal by Bragers at this link.

—Jeff Ostrowski
15 February 2021 • To Capitalize…?

In the Introit for the 6th Sunday after Pentecost, there is a question regarding whether to capitalize the word “christi.” The Vulgata does not, because Psalm 27 is not specifically referring to Our Lord, but rather to God’s “anointed one.” However, Missals tend to capitalize it, such as the official 1962 Missal and also a book from 1777 called Missel de Paris. Something tells me Monsignor Knox would not capitalize it.

—Jeff Ostrowski
15 February 2021 • “Sung vs. Spoken”

We have spoken quite a bit about “sung vs. spoken” antiphons. We have also noted that the texts of the Graduale Romanum sometimes don’t match the Missal texts (in the Extraordinary Form) because the Mass Propers are older than Saint Jerome’s Vulgate, and sometimes came from the ITALA versions of Sacred Scripture. On occasion, the Missal itself doesn’t match the Vulgate—cf. the Introit “Esto Mihi.” The Vulgate has: “Esto mihi in Deum protectórem et in domum refúgii…” but the Missal and Graduale Romanum use “Esto mihi in Deum protectórem et in locum refúgii…” The 1970s “spoken propers” use the traditional version, as you can see.

—Jeff Ostrowski

Random Quote

On 12 March 1908, Feast of St. Gregory the Great, the complete publication of the “Graduale” was issued by the Vatican Press. That very day, Dom Pothier solemnly presented the first copy to the Holy Father. Pius X wished to be the first to see the new book; he opened it at random, at page 128 of the supplement “pro aliquibus locis”—the Introit of the new Feast of Our lady of Lourdes. The Pope sang it with perfect taste to the last note.

— A witness of the papal audience writing circa 1915

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