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Views from the Choir Loft

Married Couples at the Synod

Fr. David Friel · September 28, 2014

T THE UPCOMING Synod of Bishops on the Family (to be held in Rome October 5-19), participants will include Vatican officials, bishops representing each episcopal conference, special appointees of the Holy Father, and approximately 40 observers. Notably, more than half of the observers will be married couples.

I think it’s great that married couples will be involved in the Synod. There is no question that they are able to bring perspective and experience that the clergy participants are not able to contribute. But it is also true that the clergy members of the Synod are able to bring perspective and experience that the married couples are not able to contribute.

Catholics of recent generations have lived through strange times, in which some roles proper to the clergy have been unduly usurped by the laity (see THIS). This commonplace clericalization of the laity is not a good thing. Yet, as regards the membership of the Synod, I would be the first to agree that the time has certainly come for this type of lay participation. This type of participation is authentic and valuable. Some people, though, would still take it too far.

Consider, for example, the remarks of Mary McAleese, the former president of Ireland:

The very idea of a hundred and fifty people who have decided they are not going to have any children, not going to have families, not going to be fathers, and not going to be spouses—so they have no experience of family life as the rest of us know it—but they are going to advise the pope on family life, it is completely bonkers.

Holding a Synod on the Family with no lay members would, indeed, be dubious, but the claim that celibate clergymen have nothing to offer on the topic of family life is equally ludicrous to the opposite extreme. By the brashness of her remarks, I believe Mrs. McAleese discredits herself.

Ironically, those who decry the thoughts of celibate men concerning marriage are often the first ones to leap at the chance to offer commentary upon celibacy. It is a false assertion that one must have personal experience of a thing in order to evaluate, critique, or make a judgment about it. Think of the seven deadly sins. Must one commit each of them in order to make a judgment that they are unhealthy & sinful, or is it possible to know that a priori? Because God has created a world that is intelligible, we are able to make some judgments even apart from personal experience.

Celibates have something to offer married couples, just as married couples have lessons to teach celibates. One should not forget that, with I suspect few exceptions, members of the clergy all grew up in families and remain part of their families even today. Thus, the claim that they have “no experience” of family life is erroneous.

Moreover, the average priest has spent hours upon hours listening to the struggles of married men and (especially) women. This pastoral experience gives seasoned priests a great deal of insight into the vocation of marriage—probably significantly more insight than a young married couple would have.

So what? My point is this. I am happy to celebrate the inclusion of married couples in next month’s Synod. I think it’s a terrific idea. But I also totally reject the attitude being expressed by some people that commenting on family life should be reserved exclusively to those in the married state.

Those who are married have gifts to share, and so do those who have embraced celibacy. The Lord did, after all, design the Church to be so—a family.

Opinions by blog authors do not necessarily represent the views of Corpus Christi Watershed.

Filed Under: Articles Tagged With: Unity Last Updated: January 1, 2020

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About Fr. David Friel

Ordained in 2011, Father Friel is a priest of the Archdiocese of Philadelphia and serves as Director of Liturgy at Saint Charles Borromeo Seminary. —(Read full biography).

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Corpus Christi Watershed

President’s Corner

    “What Martin Luther Said…”
    My pastor asked me to write little columns for the bulletin each week. The article for 20 July 2025 has been posted, and it’s called: “What Luther Said…” Martin Luther (an ex-priest and apostate) was an infamous heretic whose ignorance of JESUS CHRIST was only exceeded by his filthy and disgusting vulgarity.
    —Jeff Ostrowski
    “Music List” • 15th in Ordinary Time (Year C)
    Some have expressed interest in perusing the ORDER OF MUSIC I prepared for the 15th Sunday in Ordinary Time (13 July 2025). If such a thing interests you, feel free to download it as a PDF file. As always, the Responsorial Psalm, Gospel Acclamation, and propers for this Sunday are also provided at the the feasts website.
    —Jeff Ostrowski
    15th Sunday in Ordinary Time (Year C)
    This coming Sunday—13 July 2025—is the 15th Sunday in Ordinary Time (Year C). All the chants have been conveniently assembled and posted at the feasts website. The OFFERTORY, Ad Te Levávi, is particularly beautiful.
    —Jeff Ostrowski

Quick Thoughts

    Pope Pius XII Hymnal?
    Have you ever heard of the Pope Pius XII Hymnal? It’s a real book, published in the United States in 1959. Here’s a sample page so you can verify with your own eyes it existed.
    —Corpus Christi Watershed
    “Hybrid” Chant Notation?
    Over the years, many have tried to ‘simplify’ plainsong notation. The O’Fallon Propers attempted to simplify the notation—but ended up making matters worse. Dr. Karl Weinmann tried to do the same in the time of Pope Saint Pius X by replacing each porrectus. You can examine a specimen from his edition and see whether you agree he complicated matters. In particular, look at what he did with éxsules fílii Hévae.
    —Corpus Christi Watershed
    Antiphons Don’t Match?
    A reader wants to know why the Entrance and Communion antiphons in certain publications deviate from what’s prescribed by the GRADUALE ROMANUM published after Vatican II. Click here to read our answer. The short answer is: the Adalbert Propers were never intended to be sung. They were intended for private Masses only (or Masses without music). The “Graduale Parvum,” published by the John Henry Newman Institute of Liturgical Music in 2023, mostly uses the Adalbert Propers—but sometimes uses the GRADUALE text: e.g. Solemnity of Saints Peter and Paul (29 June).
    —Corpus Christi Watershed

Random Quote

“Parish Priests have to think first of the simple faithful: people now used to the Roman Missal at Mass. They don’t want change.”

— Cardinal Spellman (one of the Vatican II fathers)

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