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Pope Saint Paul VI (3 April 1969): “Although the text of the Roman Gradual—at least that which concerns the singing—has not been changed, the Entrance antiphons and Communions antiphons have been revised for Masses without singing.”

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Views from the Choir Loft

Does Having Children Make Us Better at Our Jobs?

Richard J. Clark · April 12, 2013

HERE IS LIFE B.C. and A.C. – “Before Children” and “After Children.” To be a musician, full-time or not, brings with it an alternative lifestyle and schedule. My professional life “B.C.” was certainly devoted almost exclusively to being the best musician that I could be. It was important that I seized the opportunities to grow and learn at every moment. I was involved in all kinds of music, not just sacred music. The world was full of possibilities and I had several avenues to pursue.

It’s also important to note that by nature I am NOT a morning person. 11pm and beyond were my peak hours for practice, composing, songwriting, and recording. Although living on the East Coast, it is safe to say my hours were consistent with the Hawaiian time zone.

I vowed to myself not to get married before the age of 30 (which I accomplished rather easily), but upon meeting the love of my life, I couldn’t get married fast enough.

Meanwhile, at my full-time job at St. Cecilia Parish (where I have been employed since the age of 20), not having children afforded me the opportunity to develop the music programs in what was a dying parish. Then nearly ten years ago the scope of my job changed drastically. We had a new pastor, merged with another parish, and a few years later, were the welcoming parish for yet another closed parish. Putting in about 60 or more hours per week (more or less doing the work of two to three parishes by myself), these mergers demanded a great deal of pastoral sensitivity, and exponentially more administrative work. For some years, I was constantly on the fence of whether to stay or to leave this job, but I felt I had to stay and see this process through. (I am glad I did, as I have been greatly blessed through it all.)

However, during this critical juncture in the life of our parish, I never could have handled this workload if I had children. Ironically, working in ministry for the Church is often not conducive to family life. Working nights and weekends away from family, often for low pay makes having children in the picture difficult. (This also gives perspective to the unmarried state of religious life.)

Then the light of my life, my daughter, was born; two years later, the other light of my life, my son, was born.

Life “A.C.” is very different. My job no longer comes first. (A must read on this topic is by Andrew Motyka: The Church Music Director: Job or Vocation?) I am no longer available to put in flexible unlimited amount of hours. When running rehearsals in the evening, I am often having difficulty concentrating, given that my son makes sure we are always awake by 5 am. While also directing three different choirs every Sunday and responsible for a dozen or so liturgies per week, I am often scattered, occasionally irritable when I need to be cheerful with volunteers, and all too often produce embarrassing typos on worship aids and concert programs. (My favorite typo was: Psalm 33:4: “Uptight is the word of the Lord.” Oops.) Since having children, there are days when I feel overwhelmed, that I have failed my choir(s), have been less than charitable when I need to be, and I have failed the standards of my profession. In a profession that requires work on holidays, weekends, and evenings, the tension between family and job is one I struggle with every day. To be fully present to my children and being a dad means placing even more limits on my professional life. But sometimes, that choice too is out of my hands. But this is the life I have chosen and I would not have it any other way.

So how could having children possibly make me better at a job? Parenthood certainly has gotten me closer in touch with failure and feeling out of control. Since having children my life is no longer my own. Perhaps this is the key to faith.

At my son’s baptism, I held my two-year-old daughter in my arms during the Rite. I was exhausted as all new parents are. I knew the words were coming, but when I heard them, it hit me like a ton of bricks—now emblazoned in my memory and in my heart: “I claim you for Christ.” I felt the profundity of the choice parents make for their children, that God will be the center of our family.

In my children, I found God. I found God in my family, and not just at church, and not just in my professional life as a church musician. Perhaps this is what I personally needed, (and not to judge that this is what everyone needs.) Children have helped me focus on what and who is important.

Hopefully, I am more patient than I used to be. I laugh now when a child cries or screams during the pianissimo section of Bruckner’s “Pange Lingua”. Or when a parent is changing a diaper on the stairs to the choir loft, I tell them not to worry — I understand! But those are very little things. Often the words of St. Bernard of Clairvaux, “Quid Hoc ad Aeternitatem?” come to mind. “What does this mean for eternity?” While life as a parent is far more scattered, my internal prayer life and my focus on what truly matters has a little bit more clarity than it used to. Hopefully my relationship with the people I serve has improved. I don’t know, but I certainly hope so, and I pray it has.

I found God in my family, and no matter what the daily struggles, I am left with a profound sense of gratitude to be the luckiest man alive.

Opinions by blog authors do not necessarily represent the views of Corpus Christi Watershed.

Filed Under: Articles Last Updated: January 1, 2020

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About Richard J. Clark

Richard J. Clark is the Director of Music of the Archdiocese of Boston and the Cathedral of the Holy Cross.—(Read full biography).

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Corpus Christi Watershed

President’s Corner

    (Part 2) • Did they simplify this hymn?
    Choirs love to sing the resplendent tune called “INNSBRUCK.” Looking through a (Roman Catholic) German hymnal printed in 1929, I discovered what appears to be a simplified version of that hymn. Their harmonization is much less complex than the version found in the Father Brébeuf Hymnal (which is suitable for singing by SATB choir). Please download their 1929 harmonization (PDF) and let me know your thoughts. As always, the Germans added an organ INTRODUCTION. For the record, I posted a different harmonization a few months ago which was downloaded more than 2,000 times.
    —Jeff Ostrowski
    PDF • “Lectionary Comparison Chart”
    Various shell corporations (in an effort to make money selling Sacred Scripture) have tinkered with the LECTIONARY texts in a way that’s shameful. It’s no wonder Catholics in the pews know so few Bible passages by heart. Without authorization, these shell corporations pervert the official texts. Consider the Responsorial Psalm for the 1st Sunday of Advent (Year A). If you download this PDF comparison chart you’ll notice each country randomly omits certain sections. Such tinkering has gone on for 60+ years—and it’s reprehensible.
    —Corpus Christi Watershed
    Monsignor Klaus Gamber Speaks!
    An interesting quotation from the eminent liturgist, Monsignor Klaus Gamber (d. 1989): “According to canon law, a person’s affiliation with a particular liturgical rite is determined by that person’s rite of baptism. Given that the liturgical reforms of Pope Paul VI created a de facto new rite, one could assert that those among the faithful who were baptized according to the traditional Roman rite have the right to continue following that rite; just as priests who were ordained according to the traditional Ordo have the right to exercise the very rite that they were ordained to celebrate.”
    —Jeff Ostrowski

Quick Thoughts

    New Bulletin Article • “12 October 2025”
    My pastor requested that I write short articles each week for our parish bulletin. Those responsible for preparing similar write-ups may find a bit of inspiration in these brief columns. The latest article (dated 12 October 2025) talks about an ‘irony’ or ‘paradox’ regarding the 1960s switch to a wider use (amplior locus) of vernacular in the liturgy.
    —Jeff Ostrowski
    “American Catholic Hymnal” (1991)
    The American Catholic Hymnal, with IMPRIMATUR granted (25 April 1991) by the Archdiocese of Chicago, is like a compendium of every horrible idea from the 1980s. Imagine being forced to stand all through Communion (even afterwards) when those self-same ‘enlightened’ liturgists moved the SEQUENCE before the Alleluia to make sure congregations wouldn’t have to stand during it. (Even worse, everything about the SEQUENCE—including its name—means it should follow the Alleluia.) And imagine endlessly repeating “Alleluia” during Holy Communion at every single Mass. It was all part of an effort to convince people that Holy Communion was historically a procession (which it wasn’t).
    —Jeff Ostrowski
    “Canonic” • Ralph Vaughan Williams
    Fifty years ago, Dr. Theodore Marier made available this clever arrangement (PDF) of “Come down, O love divine” by P. R. Dietterich. The melody was composed in 1906 by Ralph Vaughan Williams (d. 1958) and named in honor of his birthplace: DOWN AMPNEY. The arrangement isn’t a strict canon, but it does remind one of a canon since the pipe organ employs “points of imitation.” The melody and text are #709 in the Brébeuf Catholic Hymnal.
    —Jeff Ostrowski

Random Quote

“These liturgists protest that the choir must be encouraged, but in the same breath we are told its purpose is to lead the congregation in the singing of hymns and other unison music. These directions from non-musicians who have never created a musical sound—let alone direct a choir—are the cause of consternation among practicing musicians, both instrumentalists and singers.”

— Monsignor Richard J. Schuler (30 November 1967)

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  • (Part 2) • Did they simplify this hymn?
  • PDF • “Lectionary Comparison Chart”

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