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Views from the Choir Loft

Weddings: Some Practical Advice – Word and Vows

Andrew R. Motyka · October 1, 2014

HEW. It took a long time to get to this post; nearly as long as wedding processions seem when you are playing the organ through 11 bridesmaids.

The Liturgy of the Word in the Nuptial Mass is fairly straightforward. Any of the readings from that ritual Mass section of the Lectionary may be used in their respective places. One point I would ask you to pay attention to, and I can’t believe I even have to say this, is that you should be sure that your chosen readers can actually read. Seriously. Often, this is the role that people are asked to perform when they aren’t quite best-friendy or close-family enough with the bride or groom to become one of the eleventy-six bridesmaids or groomsmen, so they are asked to read instead. Make sure whomever you ask has experience reading at Mass, and that they practice doing so before the Mass. Otherwise, you will end up with the reader who double-clutches during Ephesians 5, or breaks out into giggles during sexy, sexy Tobit.

After the homily, the meat of the wedding ritual comes in. The vows are the sacramental form of Matrimony, so careful attention should be given to this part. While it is not required, I strongly recommend brides and grooms memorizing their vows. This is a solemn promise that you are making for the rest of your life. If you can’t remember what it is, what are you doing? It’s three sentences:

I, Y, take you, X, to be my wife. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life.

(I did that off the top of my head, by the way. 8 years married BOOM.)

There is an option for a different set of vows in the United States, as well.

There is nothing wrong with being assisted by the priest or deacon if you stumble. I think it should be relatively easy to do this from memory, however. The blessing and exchange of rings is even easier:

Y, take this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity, in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.

That’s it. Those are literally the only lines you have in this part of the rite.

Which brings us to the “Unity Candle.” While this practice has been allowed in many Catholic weddings in recent history, it is not a part of the Catholic Wedding at all. Before you go hog wild in unifying that candle, ask yourself this question: What is this a symbol of?

Is it a symbol of the unity of your families brought about by marriage? That’s not what marriage is. It is a unifying of two individuals.

Is it a symbol of the sacramental promise between the bride and groom? You just exchanged rings for that.

Is it a symbol of the physical unity of the spouses, that “two become one flesh?” You have sex for that. It’s a million times better than lighting a candle.

The Unity Candle isn’t just not a part of the Catholic Wedding; it’s either a false statement, or it’s redundant, or it’s trite. Of course, this might be one of those hills, depending on your parish and liturgical history.

Couples getting married should familiarize themselves with this part of the liturgical celebration more than any other. This is, after all, their part of the liturgy. The bride and the groom are the ministers of the sacrament, and deficiencies due to laziness or lack of preparation are not acceptable. This is the moment you’ve been waiting for. Do it well.


Series by Andrew R. Motyka:   “Weddings: Some Practical Advice”

FIRST PART • Introduction

SECOND PART • The Very Beginning, Part 1

THIRD PART • The End Of The Beginning, Part 2

FOURTH PART • Word and Vows

Stay tuned for more additions!

Opinions by blog authors do not necessarily represent the views of Corpus Christi Watershed.

Filed Under: Articles Last Updated: January 1, 2020

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About Andrew R. Motyka

Andrew Motyka is the Archdiocesan Director of Liturgical Music and Cathedral Music for the Archdiocese of Indianapolis.—(Read full biography).

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President’s Corner

    15th Sunday in Ordinary Time (Year C)
    This coming Sunday—13 July 2025—is the 15th Sunday in Ordinary Time (Year C). All the chants have been conveniently assembled and posted at the feasts website. The OFFERTORY, Ad Te Levávi, is particularly beautiful.
    —Jeff Ostrowski
    Music Director Job • $80,000 per year
    Our readers will be interested in this job offering for Music Director at Saint Adalbert’s Basilica, located 40 minutes from where I live. My pastor was recently elevated to this basilica. He is offering $80,000 per year, plus benefits. I’m told Saint Adalbert’s Basilica is utterly gorgeous and contains one of America’s most magnificent pipe organs. It would be fantastic to have a colleague nearby!
    —Jeff Ostrowski
    Simplest “Agnus Dei” Ever Published
    Our choir is on break during the month of July. I needed a relatively simple “Agnus Dei,” so I composed this setting for organ & voice in honor of Saint René Goupil. It has been called the simplest setting ever composed. I love CARMEN GREGORIANUM (“Gregorian Chant”), especially the ALLELUIAS, INTROITS, and COMMUNION ANTIPHONS. That being said, some have pointed out that certain sections of the Kyriale aren’t as strong as the Graduale or Vesperale. There’s a reason for this—but it would be too complicated to explain at this moment.
    —Jeff Ostrowski

Quick Thoughts

    Pope Pius XII Hymnal?
    Have you ever heard of the Pope Pius XII Hymnal? It’s a real book, published in the United States in 1959. Here’s a sample page so you can verify with your own eyes it existed.
    —Corpus Christi Watershed
    “Hybrid” Chant Notation?
    Over the years, many have tried to ‘simplify’ plainsong notation. The O’Fallon Propers attempted to simplify the notation—but ended up making matters worse. Dr. Karl Weinmann tried to do the same in the time of Pope Saint Pius X by replacing each porrectus. You can examine a specimen from his edition and see whether you agree he complicated matters. In particular, look at what he did with éxsules fílii Hévae.
    —Corpus Christi Watershed
    Antiphons Don’t Match?
    A reader wants to know why the Entrance and Communion antiphons in certain publications deviate from what’s prescribed by the GRADUALE ROMANUM published after Vatican II. Click here to read our answer. The short answer is: the Adalbert Propers were never intended to be sung. They were intended for private Masses only (or Masses without music). The “Graduale Parvum,” published by the John Henry Newman Institute of Liturgical Music in 2023, mostly uses the Adalbert Propers—but sometimes uses the GRADUALE text: e.g. Solemnity of Saints Peter and Paul (29 June).
    —Corpus Christi Watershed

Random Quote

It would be contrary to the Constitution to decree or even to hint that sung celebrations, especially of the Mass, should be in Latin.

— Annibale Bugnini attacking “Sacrosanctum Concilium” (§36)

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