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Views from the Choir Loft

Quick Takes: Saying No

Andrew R. Motyka · January 15, 2014

UST BECAUSE you shouldn’t be indiscriminate about which arguments you are willing to go to the wall for doesn’t mean that you should never take a stand for principle. I had a conversation with several music directors yesterday about funeral preparation, and the conversation naturally had a sidebar about funerals, weddings, and how to turn down a request from a family.

Naturally, both situations are fraught with peril. On one hand, with funerals you have a grieving family that doesn’t need extra trouble while planning a liturgy for the death of their loved one. On the other hand, you have an angry bride or (shudder) her mother. Nevertheless, sometimes you have to put your foot down and say, “I’m sorry, but perhaps ‘My Humps’ isn’t the best choice we can make for your bridal procession.” Here are some things to keep in mind, my brave fellow director:

1. Be clear that you’re saying no. Here’s a trap I’ve fallen into before. I try to let a bride down gently regarding her choice for a particular piece of music, but what she really hears is, “It isn’t the best choice, but I’ll do it anyway.” When you say No, make sure that it is understood that you really aren’t going to do it.

2. Offer an alternative. It stinks to be in the position of Gatekeeper of the Liturgy, and it also stinks to be on the receiving end, where a bride or family has suggestions that have genuine connections for them, but they feel like they are just trying to get past the censors. Every time you say no, counter with a suggestion and, most importantly, explain why your suggestion fits better without attacking theirs. If you say No, but provide a way out, it’s often all that is needed to diffuse the situation.

3. Take the opportunity to teach. Often, the people with whom we are discussing such matters are people who have not been to Mass in a long time; sometimes they aren’t Catholic at all. Even if they are, usually all they know about liturgical music is that they like That Song and really want it at “their liturgy.” This can be a great opportunity to teach a bit about liturgy, solemnity, and the dignity of our worship. Sometimes they won’t listen, and sometimes (like in the case of a funeral) you have to use your best judgment to determine what will sink in at this particular moment. Once again, many of these problems arise because they just don’t know.

I am currently trying to absorb as much as I can about this skill. Our archdiocesan Director of Worship is the master here. He can not only steer people away from bad choices, but can make them feel like a million dollars while following his guidelines. The trick is to avoid making them feel silly while gently guiding them in the right direction.

And don’t even meet with the mothers.

Opinions by blog authors do not necessarily represent the views of Corpus Christi Watershed.

Filed Under: Articles Last Updated: January 1, 2020

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About Andrew R. Motyka

Andrew Motyka is the Archdiocesan Director of Liturgical Music and Cathedral Music for the Archdiocese of Indianapolis.—(Read full biography).

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Corpus Christi Watershed

President’s Corner

    Bugnini’s Statement (6 November 1966)
    With each passing day, more is revealed about how the enemies of the liturgy accomplished their goals. For instance, Hannibal Bugnini deeply resented the way Vatican II said Gregorian Chant “must be given first place in liturgical services.” On 6 November 1966, his cadre wrote a letter attempting to justify the elimination of Gregorian Chant with this brazen statement: “What really gives a Mass its tone is not so much the songs as it is the prayers and readings.” Bugnini’s cadre then attacked the very heart of Gregorian Chant (viz. the Proprium Missae), bemoaning how the Proprium Missae “is completely new each Sunday and feast day.” There is much more to be said about this topic. Stay tuned.
    —Jeff Ostrowski
    Luis Martínez Must Go!
    Sevilla Cathedral (entry dated 13 December 1564): The chapter orders Luis Martínez, a cathedral chaplain, to stay away from the choirbook-stand when the rest of the singers gather around it to sing polyphony—the reason being that “he throws the others out of tune.” [Excerpt from “The Life of Father Francisco Guerrero.”]
    —Jeff Ostrowski
    Urgent! • We Desperately Need Funds!
    A few days ago, the president of Corpus Christi Watershed posted this urgent appeal for funds. Please help us make sure we’re never forced to place our content behind a paywall. We feel it’s crucial that 100% of our content remains free to everyone. We’re a tiny 501(c)3 public charity, entirely dependent upon the generosity of small donors. We have no endowment and no major donors. We run no advertisements and have no savings. We beg you to consider donating $4.00 per month. Thank you!
    —Jeff Ostrowski

Quick Thoughts

    Pope Pius XII Hymnal?
    Have you ever heard of the Pope Pius XII Hymnal? It’s a real book, published in the United States in 1959. Here’s a sample page so you can verify with your own eyes it existed.
    —Corpus Christi Watershed
    “Hybrid” Chant Notation?
    Over the years, many have tried to ‘simplify’ plainsong notation. The O’Fallon Propers attempted to simplify the notation—but ended up making matters worse. Dr. Karl Weinmann tried to do the same in the time of Pope Saint Pius X by replacing each porrectus. You can examine a specimen from his edition and see whether you agree he complicated matters. In particular, look at what he did with éxsules fílii Hévae.
    —Corpus Christi Watershed
    Antiphons Don’t Match?
    A reader wants to know why the Entrance and Communion antiphons in certain publications deviate from what’s prescribed by the GRADUALE ROMANUM published after Vatican II. Click here to read our answer. The short answer is: the Adalbert Propers were never intended to be sung. They were intended for private Masses only (or Masses without music). The “Graduale Parvum,” published by the John Henry Newman Institute of Liturgical Music in 2023, mostly uses the Adalbert Propers—but sometimes uses the GRADUALE text: e.g. Solemnity of Saints Peter and Paul (29 June).
    —Corpus Christi Watershed

Random Quote

“There are no hymns, in this sense, till the fourth century; they were not admitted to the Roman office till the twelfth. No Eastern rite to this day knows this kind of hymn. Indeed, in our Roman rite we still have the archaic offices of the last days of Holy Week and of the Easter octave, which—just because they are archaic—have no hymns.”

— Adrian Fortescue (25 March 1916)

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