About this blogger:
Ronda Chervin received a Ph.D. in Philosophy from Fordham University and an MA in Religious Studies from Notre Dame Apostolic Institute. A widow, mother, and grandmother, she currently teaches philosophy at Holy Apostles College and Seminary in Cromwell, Connecticut. Write to her at chervinronda@gmail.com.
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“I examined him in your presence, and could find no substance in any of the charges you bring against him; nor could Herod, when I referred you to him. It is plain that he has done nothing which deserves death. I will scourge him, and then he shall go free.”
— Pontius Pilate

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Heavy Wisdom
published 10 May 2013 by Dr. Ronda Chervin

From more recent journals:

A 12 Step sponsor told me that to avoid making someone feel judged just say “I” not you, we or they. So, for example, instead of saying, when you are angry I shut down, say when I feel anger toward me I shut down.

She added that people pleasers likes to do everything very fast for everyone, but we should be more fun and free.

I had such an experience the other day. I have a dear friend I was annoyed with for various reasons. It happened that he was injured. I hadn’t seen him for a while. He was trying to get off a couch but his injury made this hard to do so he got red in the face trying to maneuver off the couch and looked like a huge awkward bear. Suddenly I felt great love for him at that moment. Instead of seeing what annoys me, I saw this dear struggling person – not just the physical part but the whole struggling person in all his dimensions.

Another version of one of my long term images that instead of seeing people as fallen idols we should see them as funny little creatures?

An insight on “second childhood”and old age. We are trying to replicate what we loved in our childhood without the negatives. For me, a mother who wanted to talk all day and a sister to play with who wasn’t critical. I seek such figures now.

We can get some of these ideal situations some of the time but not in a lasting way because we are being weaned from this earth. In the meantime Mary is the mother/sister who will talk to us all day and be challenging rather than scolding. And, Jesus is the Man, God the Father, and Mary the mother/sister.

God gives us what we need emotionally on the human level to survive, but keeps drawing us toward eternity.

Could purgatory be having to forgive!

Notes on a book by Angelyn Arden, a professor at Holy Apostles. The book is called The Articulate Silence:

“Fearful, even terrified of the Hole, we attach to how we know each of
our parents/caregivers defend from it:

(My mother by 24/7 analytic conversation; my father by work.)

“Our attraction has to do with what we think brings flavor, mystery, charge, miracle, and distinction into our life …their pull is through coercion, intrigue, secrets, promise of security. ... fear of bland, insipid, common … nothingness….whereas if one goes through the insipid and weak to the vulnerability one can sit in front of the cross and let Christ enter….”