About this blogger:
Ronda Chervin received a Ph.D. in Philosophy from Fordham University and an MA in Religious Studies from Notre Dame Apostolic Institute. A widow, mother, and grandmother, she currently teaches philosophy at Holy Apostles College and Seminary in Cromwell, Connecticut. Write to her at chervinronda@gmail.com.
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“I have, on the other hand, retained several more or less traditional tunes, absolutely valueless and without merit from a musical point of view, but which seem to have become a necessity if a book is to appeal—as I hope this one will—to the varied needs of various churches.”
— A. Edmonds Tozer (1905)

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Co-Dependency and Lots of Other Topics
published 3 March 2013 by Dr. Ronda Chervin

From my old Journals:

ONCERNING co-dependency: having been made in the image and likeness, it was inevitable that we could be tempted to want to be like God ourselves. Part of the Fall is that our God-willed love for each other would be always in danger of being twisted into distorted co-dependency loves. But God uses the neediness to keep us from still worse prideful independent pseudo-god-likeness.

We want to pretend to need no one. Instead He lets us have a foretaste of heaven in the good part of friendship – walking hand in hand through Mordor – battling demons alone would be worse. And then He comes to heal and forgive the bad part, bringing good out of evil. I should just take in the pain wherever people are, instead of being a bewildered by the bad part and wanting to flee. I should run to you, Mary, and ask for your heart and then be like you, a mother to all, in their miseries. O Mary conceived without sin, pray for us who have recourse to you.

Pere Thomas Philippe, a Dominican priest wrote in The Contemplative Life “There is a great temptation to lower our ideal so that it will not stand in judgment over us. This is the sin against the light. To sin against the Holy Spirit is to lower one’s ideal, to renounce it, to allege that we are not made for that, that there are other things to do, and so forth.”
In the book Literary Converts by Joseph Pearce, p. 369 he is writing about Schumacher, the famous writer of Small is Beautiful. Pearce quotes Schumacher as saying that those to work for the good society without God become Machiavellian, they become disheartened or muddleheaded, fabulating about the goodness of human nature and the vileness of one or another adversary… Optimistic ‘Humanism’ by ‘concentrating sin on a few people instead of admitting its universal presence throughout the human race,’ leads to utmost cruelty.”

A theory given me by a spiritual mentor: A sensitive child can take refuge in the mind as an ego defense, not because she is superficial, but because she is afraid of exploding with emotion. Now it is my time of life to recover the sensitive child part as mother to others. I need to empathize with the sufferings and joys others, but not in so close as to explode?

Suppose purgatory is as I think: I get to feel what my victims did , but then they forgive me and they get to feel what they did and I forgive them? A total healing of memories.
The topic of discipline came up. Discipline is so needed, but not too tight! Otherwise, without discipline, just pure laxity and people wind up like Oblomov (the famous “hero” of a Russian satire). The Holy Spirit seemed to say that we must be transformed by love, not just to avoid laziness and disorder, but so that we do more out of love.