About this blogger:
Ronda Chervin received a Ph.D. in Philosophy from Fordham University and an MA in Religious Studies from Notre Dame Apostolic Institute. A widow, mother, and grandmother, she currently teaches philosophy at Holy Apostles College and Seminary in Cromwell, Connecticut. Write to her at chervinronda@gmail.com.
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“Before any seminarian is accepted for ordination, he must not only strive for chastity but actually achieve it. He must already be living chaste celibacy peacefully and for a prolonged period of time—for if this be lacking, the seminarian and his formators cannot have the requisite confidence that he is called to the celibate life.”
— Archbishop Viganò (16 February 2019)

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What you Need vs. What you Want
published 29 May 2012 by Dr. Ronda Chervin

I had an enlightening experience a while ago. An old friend of mine was visiting – a kind of soul-mate. Before I became a widow, when he would visit, I would often compare the wonderful spiritual and intellectual qualities of my guest to the defects along these lines I saw in my husband. But when I saw this friend again after many years I was struck by how cold he was as a person in spite of the spiritual and intellectual qualities I still loved.

Suddenly I realized that the reason I married my husband, even though he was not the most philosophical or spiritual man I might have found, is because he was SO WARM! And warmth of heart meant more to me, then and now, even than mind and soul! Not that my husband wasn’t a deep person in mind and soul, but that part he kept hidden a lot. One of the last words he said to me before his sudden death of a heart attack was “the deeper something is, the more you would want to hide it, wouldn’t you?” To which I responded, based on my very open personality, “No, no, no! The deeper the more I would want to share it.”

I like to write about these revelations which, even after almost 20 years of being a widow, suddenly emerge.

Happily, with Jesus we don’t have such choices. Jesus was brilliant, spiritual (duh!) and overflowing with compassionate love.

Perhaps, you readers, could ask the Holy Spirit to show you what quality you chose in your spouses or close friends and why they matter more to you than some other qualities you find lacking? Shouldn’t we be overjoyed if what we looked for we found, by the grace of God, rather than dwelling on disappointments?

Read more blog entries by Dr. Ronda Chervin by visiting RondaView. Dr. Ronda Chervin has many free e-books and audios on her website, rondachervin.com. If you go to her website and read or listen and then want to correspond with her she will be available. Her schedule does not permit, however, responding to comments on the Blog, though she enjoys reading them. Dr. Ronda’s newest project is spiritualityrunningtogod.com.

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