About this blogger:
Ronda Chervin received a Ph.D. in Philosophy from Fordham University and an MA in Religious Studies from Notre Dame Apostolic Institute. A widow, mother, and grandmother, she currently teaches philosophy at Holy Apostles College and Seminary in Cromwell, Connecticut. Write to her at chervinronda@gmail.com.
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“If a pope were only ever applauded, he would have to ask himself whether or not he was doing things right.”
— Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI (2016)

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Hidden Forms of Jealousy
published 21 June 2012 by Dr. Ronda Chervin

During the summer I have been reading a classic called Sins of the Tongue by Msgr. Landriot, a 19th century French writer. I want to interest you in reading this extraordinary book.

This excerpt is about how women get into trouble with their tongues, BUT SOME MEN HAVE THE SAME BAD HABITS, and, in any case, if you are a male reader, I bet you will find these quotations describe very well what you hate in the conversation of some women you know:

“You are jealous, and these people are too brilliant to please you, for jealousy is far readier to forgive defects than good qualities. They enjoy a certain amount of consideration, and perhaps hold a high position in the esteem and affections of others, and this gives birth to a feeling of inferiority in you. And there is yet another aggravating circumstance – the praises which you hear lavished on these people are a veritable martyrdom for you, a turning you on the gridiron! However, one need not be uneasy about you, for you know well how to revenge yourself, and pay off these accumulated injuries. You know how to find opportunities of speaking of your neighbor’s faults, and also how to make those opportunities when they do not present themselves naturally. You know how to wound him with the keen, envenomed arrows of sarcastic wit. .. You know how to wrap up your bitter pills in sugared bon bons … with insinuations all the more treacherous that they are veiled under affected scruples and mysterious hints. I do not mean to assert that your neighbor must be irreproachable in your eyes, for no one is faultless… but is not jealousy the chief cause of your rancor against them?”

And how about this description:

“At the bottom of your hearts is hidden a secret pride which urges you to speak continually of yourself and of your own merits, real, supposed, or exaggerated; for finding that others do not talk enough about you, you have taken the resolution of avenging yourselves by becoming your own advocates and pleading your own cause with an ingenuity which, if not very remarkable in itself, excites, at all events, much remark from others. Then flow utterances as opposed to truth as to humility, boastful narratives, clumsy, half veiled insinuations, words wounding to those around you…” Remedy: “True piety will lead you to meditate often on your own misery and weakness, and without causing sadness or discouragement, it will teach you to have a thorough distrust of yourself; to know your own defects; to take every means of correcting them; to consult serious and experienced people; and to consult them in such a manner as to show them that you are sincere in your desire to be told the truth. After some months, perhaps some years of this constant watchfulness over yourself, you will have humbled your pride; and, though you may not have entirely rooted it out; it will be no longer visible, and each day will lessen the number of its offshoots. Then your tongue will lose the habit of talking perpetually about your own concerns. You will neither talk of them yourself, nor draw others into talking about them. You will cease making yourself the centre of conversation.”

Ready for Confession?

Read more blog entries by Dr. Ronda Chervin by visiting RondaView. Dr. Ronda Chervin has many free e-books and audios on her website, rondachervin.com. If you go to her website and read or listen and then want to correspond with her she will be available. Her schedule does not permit, however, responding to comments on the Blog, though she enjoys reading them. Dr. Ronda’s newest project is spiritualityrunningtogod.com.

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