About this blogger:
Ronda Chervin received a Ph.D. in Philosophy from Fordham University and an MA in Religious Studies from Notre Dame Apostolic Institute. A widow, mother, and grandmother, she currently teaches philosophy at Holy Apostles College and Seminary in Cromwell, Connecticut. Write to her at chervinronda@gmail.com.
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“Unfortunately, on the one hand a deadly error in judgment placed the official leadership of this committee into the hands of a man who—though generous and brave—was not very knowledgeable: Cardinal Lercaro. He was utterly incapable of resisting the maneuvers of the mealy-mouthed scoundrel that the Neapolitan Vincentian, Bugnini, a man as bereft of culture as he was of basic honesty, soon revealed himself to be.”
— Fr. Louis Bouyer, an important member of the Consilium

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Finding The Right People To Talk To
published 31 May 2011 by Dr. Ronda Chervin

I am fascinated by buzz words. “To Vent” is an oldie, indeed. As usual, at first I found the expression distasteful compared to “talk” or “communicate.” But it has it’s utility because it indirectly admonishes us not to live in the stuffy world of our own ideas, which sometimes, become a vicious circle.

What is the difference between venting and gossip? Sometimes they are synonymous, but not always. Gossip has several meanings, of course. Some people consider any relating of stories about others to be bad gossip. Others think that talking about people is simply a necessary form of communication. One psychologist said that in business it is the only way to find out what is happening. The bad kind of gossip, that the devil loves, should really better be called detraction – that is where what you say is true but it is divulging what others have a right to have private about themselves. Such gossip is designed to put others down and gloat over their shortcomings. The devil loves to encourage that kind of gossip.

Since I tend toward bad and good gossip, I am usually thinking I would do much better to be silent most of the time. During the summer the kitchen closes at the seminary. I have much more time to be silent if I wish. But then I come upon the not- enough – “venting”- problem. I talk to myself all day and my thoughts are repetitive and often anxious and even dismal. Exactly what venting is supposed to overcome!

So, how can we talk about ourselves and others in a Christian way? Of course, talking to Jesus, Mary, Joseph, the saints, in prayers is always good. Besides, we need to surround ourselves with friends who use conversation as means of either humor or good counsel. Then, even if we start venting out of chagrin, the tables are turned on us, and we wind up with good ideas about how to love ourselves and others better.

Dr. Ronda Chervin has many free e-books and audios on her website rondachervin.com. If you go to her website and read or listen and then want to correspond with her she will be available. Her schedule does not permit, however, responding to comments on the Blog, though she enjoys reading them. Dr. Ronda’s newest project is spiritualityrunningtogod.com.