I am visiting the house of one of my dear Dedicated Widows. She is divesting the house to become more like me, all of whose possessions fit in one little cell at the seminary. What is hitting me between the eyes is how people like her and like everyone else in my family, who love to have wonderful colorful things of all types around them, actually enjoy life a lot more than I do. The absence of the annoyance of clutter is good, but absence of annoyance is not joy!
How do we get balance on this? Is the only choice between clutter and sterile order? Here is what I think. To have the simplicity of life recommended by our Church we need to periodically go through our whole households and give away everything that doesn’t actually give us joy. What gives us joy can be a gift of God. But, I never met anyone who actually got joy out of looking at stacks of old newspapers or bills paid ten years ago! Why would anyone save this stuff? My theory is that it is because it is more enjoyable to pursue other activities than to sort through old stuff! I recommend always thinking of the joy of the person walking into the thrift shop and finding a whole set of dishes (your 3rd set) for $5. Ask family and friends when they visit to look over your whole house and take anything they want – telling them beforehand that if it is something that still gives you joy you will be an Indian giver. Of course having a yearly thorough garage sale will also produce perhaps needed income. Even in a recession $100 for old stuff that we don’t need is $100 more than we had before.
From the other side, even though I adore simplicity of life, I don’t need to beat myself up over $1 more on an item in a restaurant that I prefer to the one that is $1 cheaper. This is just Scroogeville! I need to totally relax my old bones in my widow friend’s swimming pool without once thinking of the starving in India. God wants me to relax. There will still be starving in India even if I gave even more of my large percentage of pension and s.s. to them. But also, God wants me to swim, because being a crabby witch because I never relax is NOT His will!
Are you having fun yet reading this???
Dr. Ronda Chervin has many free e-books and audios on her website rondachervin.com. If you go to her website and read or listen and then want to correspond with her she will be available. Her schedule does not permit, however, responding to comments on the Blog, though she enjoys reading them. Dr. Ronda’s newest project is spiritualityrunningtogod.com.
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1 Robert Fox says...
Yes! I'm having fun. There is a balance though as you suggest. I probably CAN'T swim in a nice pool or eat a nice meal without thinking of those way less fortunate than us. I doubt if you rally can either. But Our Lord wants us to mourn and have Joy (His Joy) all at the same time. This is a great paradox. For instance… I am happy to be an American. But that happiness will always be tainted by the idea that we Americans helped promote baby killing all over the world. This is a source of great pain to me ALWAYS. Ditto for the de-Catholicization of Ireland! (I'm half Irish too… the loudest half).
So how do I remain sane? Well… there is a scene in the very excellent old Albert Finney move "John Paul II". There, an animated Cardinal Wotiya discusses from the pulpit, the need to support the workers movement in Poland (in careful but definitive words). This was not popular with the other bishops in Poland at the time who wanted to play it safe (not very different from the bishops of today). The young Polis Cardinal stated in shouting tones "We do the BEST we can, and God accepts that"! At that time, the Communist party was trying to hammer a wedge between him and the only other primate of Poland (and thereby… all Polish Catholics at the time). The Marxists did not succeed… despite the fact that the two cardinals had a totally different pastoral approach to getting their flocks to Heaven.
Here is my point:
His phrase "We do the best we can…" always gives me great comfort (as long as I feel I'm honestly doing the best I can in my state in life with three teenagers and a saintly wife).
By way of object lessons… this is WHY Our Blessed Lord had the characters in the Gospels participate in some simple LITTLE way in the miracles of healing. Some of the little participations and rituals He required seem quite silly (washing one's eyes in the pool, putting mud in them beforehand… etc…, filling jugs with water at Cana, showing ones self to the priests after being cured of leprosy… etc…). These little actions are a human liturgy of sorts (to compliment the Divine Liturgy). He knew our limits and wanted (in a discreet but concrete way) to show us both our limits and our cosmic importance in His Divine plan (again.. a great mystery).
(contd…)
Posted at 10:19 a.m. on May 30, 2011
2 Robert Fox says...
(contd…)
Our entire day should be rooted in the Liturgy in this way. This is why I so love the Gregorian propers of the day. Their melodies keep my mind bound up with this sacred Joy/suffering mystery. And because they are sacred music… they BYPASS my intellect which is often stuck in the earth bound things which are both necessary for charity to blossom, and a distraction at the same time.
As to hermit types having less joy than those with lots of stuff (I presently have way too much stuff at this stage in my life and am in the process of taking your written advice here)... I think that may be a function of not getting enough time in front of the Tabernacle for some. I find that the more time I spend in front of the Real Presence… the more junk I desire to get rid of (of both the visible and invisible variety).
Put another way: When one divests ones self of stuff, one must fill ones house with the treasures that never tarnish or fade. That can only be done by becoming a contemplative. YES! We are ALL called to become contemplatives (let no one tell you otherwise). If one divests themselves of everything except the bare essentials, and does not become a contemplative for at least an hour a day (more if you don not have family responsibilities)... I believe one may end up with a "windswept house". One empties out so as to be filled with the Divine Presence. Otherwise… other very nasty things will come in to fill the void which ARE of the invisible variety. There is no better place to fill your house then in front of the Real Presence. And then cement your new guests (Our Lord, the Holy Family and the company of Angels) in place with the resounding of sacred music. One does not have to be "musical" to do this. It's just natural and it happens.
Ave Maria!
Bob
Posted at 10:19 a.m. on May 30, 2011