About this blogger:
Ronda Chervin received a Ph.D. in Philosophy from Fordham University and an MA in Religious Studies from Notre Dame Apostolic Institute. A widow, mother, and grandmother, she currently teaches philosophy at Holy Apostles College and Seminary in Cromwell, Connecticut. Write to her at chervinronda@gmail.com.
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"I am of the opinion, to be sure, that the old rite should be granted much more generously to all those who desire it. It’s impossible to see what could be dangerous or unacceptable about that. A community is calling its very being into question when it suddenly declares that what until now was its holiest and highest possession is strictly forbidden, and when it makes the longing for it seem downright indecent. Can it be trusted any more about anything else? Won’t it proscribe tomorrow what it prescribes today?"
— Pope Benedict XVI, writing in 1997

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Redeemed Schmoozing
published 19 May 2011 by Dr. Ronda Chervin

“I’m schmoozing you, silly,” said a friend to me. It sounded like a Yiddish expression, but I didn’t really know the meaning. I was told that it is like manipulating another through flattery to get you to agree to something you might not otherwise agree to.

Let me put this word together with an intriguing statement on forgiveness by a famous Asian guru, Hanh. He said if you are trying to make peace with someone who is offended by you for any reason, trying giving a little gift.

Generally, I am loathe to try such ploys, but recently I was in a situation where there was lots of misunderstanding and some bitterness. Eager to come to peace, I prayed and prayed to say the right things at a meeting. These were all true, but not what I would usually have said, because I would have preferred to nurture my side of the grievance.

I got the grace to say these good things and more and it resulted in renewed good feelings. I was stunned. It reminded me of a phrase a friend liked to trot out when asked for advice: “how about trying a new move?”

I am asking myself, how in the world can we be begging God to make us more loving if we dig our heels into our usual patterns that haven’t worked, instead of trying, to use another Yiddish-English expression, to “make nice.”

Dr. Ronda Chervin has many free e-books and audios on her website rondachervin.com. If you go to her website and read or listen and then want to correspond with her she will be available. Her schedule does not permit, however, responding to comments on the Blog, though she enjoys reading them. Dr. Ronda’s newest project is spiritualityrunningtogod.com.