About this blogger:
Dr. Ronda Chervin
Ronda Chervin received a Ph.D. in Philosophy from Fordham University and an MA in Religious Studies from Notre Dame Apostolic Institute. A widow, mother, and grandmother, she currently teaches philosophy at Holy Apostles College and Seminary in Cromwell, Connecticut.
Letter to be read at a funeral
published 17 May 2011 by Dr. Ronda Chervin

One of my daughters, a poet, wrote this letter to her mother-in-law for the funeral of her father-in-law, Richard, who was a military caterer in England. This daughter of mine is slowly inching her way back to the Church. I thought you aesthetes would love some of these lines:

      I saw a picture of Richard when he was young: a gloomy Heathcliff sitting on a beach, handsome as the devil. When I met him, illness had worn him down to a charming elf instead of a lonely devil: well, time and illness can do that and sometimes it is a kindness and sometimes it isn’t. No one can know at what cost another person has earned their face…
      I knew he knew he was dying when we last met. I do not think either of us knew how long or how painful it would be. I tried to pray but I don’t know how to pray. There was a channel of pain traveling all the way from England to North Carolina and I sent what little I possess of faith and hope along it, feeling it was useless.
      The day before he died, Richard visited me, stood behind my shoulder in the kitchen and commented on a meal I was making, wanted to try some. It was a whimsical moment full of warmth and it felt real. I have no right to speak of faith, but maybe this IS what it is made of: a few sunny moments strung up like rosary beads, a leap of faith, a skip of hope and finally a giant hop off the crucifixes that are prepared for us at the end of our lives. Believe in these moments because what else can you do?

Dr. Ronda Chervin has many free e-books and audios on her website rondachervin.com. If you go to her website and read or listen and then want to correspond with her she will be available. Her schedule does not permit, however, responding to comments on the Blog, though she enjoys reading them. Dr. Ronda’s newest project is spiritualityrunningtogod.com.

Comments

1 Bob Fox says...

Wow!! Having cared for more than one dying person in my life… I believe these observations point 'true North'.

The apostles didn't know how to pray either… and they became the fist bishops, huh? "When you pray… pray like this: "Pater noster, qui es in Caelis…"

I remember that after another of Mother Elizabeth Seton's children died of TB mother could not say 'Thy Will be done…' for the longest time. Her she was, the head of a sprawling community that she had founded… and she could not pray the most important prayer due to pain. It was a HUGE hurdle to get back to being able to say those words. And she became a SAINT!

Fiat voluntas Tua!

As for writing… I see the apple did not fall far from the mother tree (lol).

Ave Maria, ora pro nobis.

Bob

Posted at 12:02 p.m. on May 18, 2011

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