About this blogger:
Ronda Chervin received a Ph.D. in Philosophy from Fordham University and an MA in Religious Studies from Notre Dame Apostolic Institute. A widow, mother, and grandmother, she currently teaches philosophy at Holy Apostles College and Seminary in Cromwell, Connecticut. Write to her at chervinronda@gmail.com.
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“To treat harmony and rhythm in this matter was a difficult matter. Facing numerous problems both large and small—that arose constantly—we understood that a flawless harmonization of Gregorian chant cannot be created by improvisation, no matter the competence and ability of the organist or harmonist.”
— Mons. Jules Van Nuffel, NOH Preface

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How God's Providence Can Test Friendships
published 28 March 2011 by Dr. Ronda Chervin

I am a super-friendly person. It seems to me that God gave me the grace to readily see the intrinsic preciousness of others, unless they happen to fit into a stereotype I am allergic to such as normal and conventional! Smile!

The problem is that most people don’t “live” in the depth of their souls where this unique preciousness dwells. Most of us combine beautiful traits and defects ranging from annoying to unbearable.

So, it is imprudent, to say the least, to decide that someone is going to be one’s best friend after a short acquaintance. But how long is long? In God’s providence, we usually see hints of problems to come, but out of loneliness or generosity, we choose to ignore them. A hilarious example from our engagement period is when we were on a trip to Paris and my husband to be wanted to spend 7 hours a day window-shopping and I wanted to hole up in my hotel room reading Thomas Aquinas! Does it require a rocket scientist to guess that this divergence of interests would follow us into the marriage?

I developed this strategy. I don’t count on a friendship to last until we have been through a major conflict successfully. We need to have seen each other’s worst (according to our own hierarchy of values) and still think that his or her virtues outweigh that worst.

Still, I sometimes make mistakes. But often, the mistake is in a positive direction. Often I think a friendship has proven itself to be impossible, and just as I am about the write that person off, he or she does something so unexpected and lovely, I have to bury the hatchet.

Thank God for our tried and true friendships of many years, and thank God for those that resurrect even in the death throes!

Dr. Ronda has many free e-books and audios on her website rondachervin.com. If you go to her website and read or listen and then want to correspond with her she will be available. Her schedule does not permit, however, responding to comments on the Blog, though she enjoys reading them. Dr. Ronda’s newest project is spiritualityrunningtogod.com.