About this blogger:
Ronda Chervin received a Ph.D. in Philosophy from Fordham University and an MA in Religious Studies from Notre Dame Apostolic Institute. A widow, mother, and grandmother, she currently teaches philosophy at Holy Apostles College and Seminary in Cromwell, Connecticut. Write to her at chervinronda@gmail.com.
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Many declare that Vatican Council II brought about a true springtime in the Church. Nevertheless, a growing number of Church leaders see this “springtime” as a rejection, a renunciation of her centuries-old heritage, or even as a radical questioning of her past and Tradition. Political Europe is rebuked for abandoning or denying its Christian roots; but the first to have abandoned her Christian roots and past is indisputably the post-conciliar Catholic Church.
— Pope Francis' Chief Liturgist (31 March 2017)

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The Heart: A Spousal Legacy
published 14 March 2011 by Dr. Ronda Chervin

Couples reasonably happily married often dread the thought that one might die and leave the other one alone. You can take comfort from the fact that it’s only because of all the natural good and grace in your marriage that you’re not, instead, having fantasies each day that the other one will leave this world and leave you much happier!

Two of my closest friends have a marriage that is 24/7 close and loving. They are in their late 50’s and have no children. When they have to be separated for work or separate errands they kiss each other goodbye and say over and over again “take care, honey.” It is moving to see. I can feel the fear in their hearts that God might allow one to go first.

Praying for them one day I got this word which sounds like it’s from the Holy Spirit: “when a spouse dies the heart of the departing one goes into the heart of the beloved still on earth.” It seemed to me like a corollary to “they shall be two in one flesh.”

Even in rockier marriages such as mine, I found that when my husband died 18 years ago, a funny thing happened. I started wanting to eat foods he loved and I didn’t such as lobster. I wanted to remember that way how happy he was eating this delicacy. He had a tremendous Zorba the Greek type love of life, whereas I am always longing for heaven. After his death his heart came into mine in the form of enjoying the good things of daily life more. I could imagine him smiling seeing me have more fun.

Holy Spirit, over and over you tell me that even though we have to suffer terrible crosses in this life, we could be so much happier if we worried less about the future and enjoyed the gifts of the “now” much, much more.

Dr. Ronda has many free e-books and audios on her website rondachervin.com. If you go to her website and read or listen and then want to correspond with her she will be available. Her schedule does not permit, however, responding to comments on the Blog, though she enjoys reading them. Dr. Ronda’s newest project is spiritualityrunningtogod.com.