I have been working on talking less as a part of a self-help program I devised called New Way. Now, I have been a chatter-box for 70 years, so that is no mean trick or grace to improve. And I have also been praying for peace since my conversion 50 years ago with little success – i.e. I only feel peaceful if I get an infused grace for this. What I never thought of was that peace is incompatible with the type of talking too much I engage in usually.
How so? Well, since my conversation is often based on rehearsed lines I plan to use to try to control everyone around me – which, by the way, I am singularly unsuccessful at, this leads to peaceless tension as I plot, execute, and then become angry or sad when I fail. It sounds hilarious but I am betting that some reader of Watershed has a similar syndrome and will benefit from this analysis. Or, you can forward it to some friend or family member who drives you crazy with chatter!!!
So, now one week into talking less I am experiencing a delicious peace – a graced reward for my efforts, I believe.
Try it, you’ll like it.
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Dr. Ronda Chervin has many free e-books and audios on her website rondachervin.com. If you go to her website and read or listen and then want to correspond with her she will be available. Her schedule does not permit, however, responding to comments on the Blog, though she enjoys reading them. Dr. Ronda’s newest project is spiritualityrunningtogod.com.
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1 Noreen says...
Hi Rhonda,
I was @ the healing retreat in Greenville,SC this past weekend. I enjoyed you very much. You're a delight to listen to(please don't stop talking altogether). I believe I have a very different understanding of the emotions than you do although at one point you mentioned underlying anger is usually fear in which I wholeheartedly agree. I like your honesty and realness. I was very disappointed I didn't get the oppurtunity to talk with you( As I had plotted and executed in my mind what I would say). I hate retreats they're so scheduled. And to be honest I was fearful at times to approach you and just when I would muster up the courage it was "time" to gather back to listen to the speakers. Anyway I noticed a few years back that I was fearful of silence in the presence of another and that is why I coudn't bear those silent moments because if I did I would have to feel the fear. My therapist (please pray for her she died Aug 2010)and I discussed where the fear of silence originated and I was to allow myself to be silent during those moments with others and to feel the fear for as long as I could endure it, repeating to myself it was okay to feel fear and thanking God for giving me the emotion of fear and allowing me to feel it. This is a practice promoted by catholic psychiatrist Conrad Baars. It has been extremely helpful to me in my life. The fear has lessened tremendously over the years and I can at times feel harmonious in the presence of another without talking. God bless you as you take on this practice of remaining silent.
Posted at 6:57 p.m. on June 19, 2011