About this blogger:
Ronda Chervin received a Ph.D. in Philosophy from Fordham University and an MA in Religious Studies from Notre Dame Apostolic Institute. A widow, mother, and grandmother, she currently teaches philosophy at Holy Apostles College and Seminary in Cromwell, Connecticut. Write to her at chervinronda@gmail.com.
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"This was first breach in the walls of a fortress, centuries old, stoutly built, strong and robust, but no longer capable of responding to the spiritual needs of the age." [N.B. the "fortress" is a liturgy which nourished countless great saints.]
— Annibale Bugnini (19 March 1966)

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Day 30: The Challenge of Not Giving Advice Automatically
published 27 December 2011 by Dr. Ronda Chervin

What you will read now is part of a series of 100 spiritual challenges. Each blog can be viewed separately, but for maximum benefit a reader needs to start with the introductory blog of November 18, 2011, and then continue step by step. Day One begins on Sunday, November 20, 2011.
    [ Click here for 100 STEPS ]

“For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses…” (Hebrews 4:15)

Dr. Ronda’s examples: Instead of telling someone she ought to go to a grieving group to deal with a loss, I told her about my experience with it. I told a friend who has complicated problems and doesn’t tell me the whole story that I couldn’t give her advice because I didn’t really understand. I apologized to a woman who I gave advice to that hurt her feelings. I realized that my talking too much and without forethought had a lot to do with giving unwanted advice. I prayed to Jesus to tell me more about the people I am judging irritably or cynically. I saw that a person I find smothering with help did this because she was so hurt as a child that she always wants to make life better for others even when they don’t want to be helped. Because I listened instead of talking so much an old friend revealed that there was severe mental illness in her family tree. This explained a lot I hadn’t understood, so that if I ever feel really called to give advice, it would be better!

Your examples:

Prayer: Dear Jesus, I felt discouraged when I realized how pervasive is this trait in my character of giving unwanted advice or hasty advice. I humbly come to you Prince of Peace to ask you to help me be loving enough, step by step, so that I may be more truly helpful.

Read more blog entries by Dr. Ronda by visiting RONDAVIEW. Dr. Ronda Chervin has many free e-books and audios on her website rondachervin.com. If you go to her website and read or listen and then want to correspond with her she will be available. Her schedule does not permit, however, responding to comments on the Blog, though she enjoys reading them. Dr. Ronda’s newest project is spiritualityrunningtogod.com.